Marcella up for some Finn fun
ITV’S Marcella raises some big questions.
Say you were running an evil criminal empire and the cops decided to infiltrate and close it down.
If, in the process, you got to sleep with Anna Friel, how many sessions would constitute a decent trade-off?
Would one night of love be worth six months’ bird? Would you suffer a two-stretch for a frisky fortnight of reverse cowgirl, handcuffs and a twin sister?
I need answers quickly before my own sinister mob is infiltrated by steely DI Liz Hurley.
Marcella is about as stable as a straw man in a
Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP hurricane, of course. Plagued by blackouts, she ended the last series by giving herself a Glasgow smile with a pair of scissors.
So who better to infiltrate a deadly Belfast crime family? Yes, Britain’s craziest cokedup copper has now gone undercover.
She’s also gone blonde, a fair cop indeed, and is attracting a procession of dodge-pots into bed. Posing as former policewoman Keira Devlin, she lived with the Maguire family’s crooked accountant Lawrence until hardman Finn executed him. Even in the obligatory shakingin-the-bath scene, Keira didn’t bother to wash his blood off her cheek.
Conveniently, the crime family then ordered her to move in with them.
Ma Katherine doesn’t trust her. But luckily Finn took a shine to her and they hit the sheets, watched through a hole in the ceiling rose by his batty brother Rory, who is fashionably OCD.
The cold-hearted gang deal in hard drugs and human trafficking. Loose cannon brother-in-law Bobby kills a bloke in a London nightclub with a champagne bottle – a shocking waste of overpriced fizz.
His victim is the Foreign Secretary’s son, so London DCI Rav hits Belfast unaware that the local Plod are bent.
It looks unwinnable but odds-on Marcella will save the day.
FINDING Alice, left – found her, watched her, lost interest… Lightning – sheet.