Posties: Uniform is 2nd class
NEW LOOK FAILS TO DELIVER
ROYAL Mail are trialling new uniforms for frontline staff – but posties have said the look is far from first class.
The postal service unveiled the outfits to workers this week as part of a 12-week trial.
They include unisex belts, black “hi-tech” leggings and hi-vis waterproofs.
But postal workers have criticised the updated kit.
One on the Royal Mail forum uploaded a photo of William Shatner in the Star Trek sci-fi series, and wrote: “Where’ve I seen those red and black uniforms before?”
Another said the outfits were a rip-off of a rival delivery service.
He said: “I know Royal Mail are more focused on us being a dedicated parcel courier, but do we really have to copy DPD’s uniforms?”
Others claimed bright yellow “stormproofs” made them look like crossing patrols. One said: “They forgot to provide the lollipop stick for the yellow stormproof uniform.” The kit, which Royal Mail calls “the performance wardrobe”, is the first redesign for almost a decade. It includes chinos for women and a cross between a polo top and a shirt, branded a “sholo”.
The trousers have pocket for a dog peg, a tool launched in 2011 to let posties pop letters through a door if they fear being bitten. Royal Mail’s Field Operations Director Ricky McAulay said: “Royal Mail postmen and postwomen are at the heart of the communities in which they work. “Their highly recognisable red uniforms help cement this relationship of trust with our customers. We worked closely with our people to come up with these designs, poised to help them in their highly physical jobs while reflecting the shift towards parcels.”
30% of our soldiers fear treatment
SOME British troops are more scared of the dentist than combat, a study has revealed.
The prospect of having a filling or a rotten tooth extracted left some battlehardened squaddies needing therapy.
A British Medical Journal report states 30% of service personnel fear the dentist, compared with 20% of the public.
Some even suffer from “severe dental anxiety”, which could cost them their job.
And the Daily Star Sunday has learned even the SAS are not immune.
One serving member of the regiment said: “One thing guaranteed to turn even the most battle-hardened warrior into a nervous wreck is a trip to the dentist.
“I have seen guys who have fought in hand-to-hand combat with insurgents in Iraq come out of the dentist soaked in sweat and vowing never to go back.”
The problem is so severe among SAS recruits that dentists suggest they may need therapy to overcome their anxiety. Those who fail to respond to treatment could be medically discharged.
Other troops who struggle to get their teeth issues fixed could also be medically downgraded, meaning they would be unable to be deployed on operations. That is down to the risk of “phobic” patients having their fighting ability impaired by dental problems.
An MoD spokesman said severe dental anxiety did affect a minority of troops, with the latest data from 2018 showing “approximately 15 military personnel required sedation for dental treatment”.
THE pandemic of lousy TV comics has mutated into a scarier strain of anti-humour.
Stand Up & Deliver is built on the crackpot notion that anyone can be a comedian – that two weeks of coaching will turn you into Kevin Bridges. Yeah, right. It started badly. Curtis Pritchard gave us a couple of minutes of tumbleweed, while Katie McGlynn “talked s**t”.
Shaun Ryder – who’s naturally funny off stage – lost it completely at the mic.
Only the Rev Richard Coles, ex of the Communards, showed promise.
His first parishioners thought he would be black, he said, because
“you were in the Commodores”. When the two-bob professionals started mentoring, it got far worse. David Baddiel wanted Coles to be “comedically meaningful”, by which he meant to eff and blind.
And Judi Love complained about Curtis’ lack of depth – he’s only doing five minutes of jokes, Jude, not a oneman show at Monkey Barrel. While Jason Manford soon realised that polishing Shaun’s pubfunny wit, inset, was like trying to teach algebra to a garden gnome.
Nick Helm wanted Baroness Warsi to end with “I’ve been the Baroness, motherf***ers”. Sayeeda declined. He took an instant dislike to her for being a Tory. Ah, but she’s a workingclass Yorkshire Tory.
And when she started spontaneously ranting about old Etonians who “don’t believe in democracy any more”, Helm realised he might have struck comedy gold.
Stand-up can’t be taught in a fortnight, obviously. It’s a craft learned over years of trial and error.
But C4’s amateurs were far less irritating than the lame humour served up regularly on TV shows like The Mash Report or Jonathan Ross’ woeful Comedy Club.
Most modern TV stand-up isn’t about making us laugh, it’s about right-on middle-class bores airing their prejudices.
We’ve gone from Les Dawson, Dave Allen and Billy Connolly to Nish Kumar, Sara Pascoe and Rachel Parris. Well done everyone.