Cook? My wife’s good Delia better
DELIA Smith says she has failed in her mission, as lots of us still can’t cook.
I guess things just didn’t pan out the way she wanted for us all.
I’m not great in the kitchen, mainly because Monica is a really good cook and there’s always a great meal on the go here.
But if you ever fancy a nice round of toast at our place, then I’m your man.
That is, just as long as you don’t mind scraping off the crumbs from the really burnt side.
I guess you’re wondering what you get if you cross a waitress and a chef; a cold meal.
I used to be a critic for the Good Food Guide and I once visited my local Indian restaurant.
I wanted to see how their bread was made, but not reveal the recipe.
The owner declared it wouldn’t be a problem as long as I was willing to sign an NDA. That’s a naan disclosure agreement. The other day I badly wanted to surprise Monica by cooking us a really fancy dinner, but the fire engine sirens ruined my plan.
If making the perfect lungo in a coffee machine counts as being a decent cook, then I reckon I’m pretty much in MasterChef territory.
That said, I’ve not had much luck on TV cooking shows in the past, coming fourth on Come Dine With Me and second on Ready Steady Cook.
By the way, there are four contestants on Come Dine With Me and two on Ready Steady Cook.
But let’s not get bogged down with numbers.
I wonder, if Cinderella had been assigned to the kitchen instead of cleaning the whole place, she might have been called Mozzarella.
Oh, and if you ever go to Miller & Carter, don’t ask the waiter if people ever order a raw steak, as the answer will always be, “Yes, but it’s rare”.