‘Having anxiety doesn’t make you less of a mum’
Actress Helen Flanagan on struggling after the birth of her son, Charlie, being a positive role model for her girls, and wanting a fourth child
Back in January, Helen Flanagan declared her third baby would be her last after once again suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum, the severe morning sickness that left her bed bound for months. But when we catch up with her four months on from the birth of her adorable son Charlie, it seems Helen’s had a change of heart.
“When you feel so dreadful, you do think, ‘No way, I will absolutely never have another baby,’ but as soon as Charlie arrived I just thought, ‘You’re so worth it,’” says the former Coronation Street star.“I wouldn’t rule out another. I’ve always said in my head I wanted four.”
Helen already shares Matilda, six, and Delilah, three, with her fiancé, footballer Scott Sinclair, 32.
Here, Helen, 30, opens up about how her girls have adjusted to their little brother’s arrival, dealing with her postnatal anxiety, and planning her wedding…
Hi Helen! What it’s like being mum to a baby boy?
Scott and I are loving it. It was such a lovely surprise. We wouldn’t have cared if we’d had another girl – you just feel so lucky if you have a healthy baby – but when Charlie was born it was a shock. I remember crying the day after because I was so happy.
Did you always have Charlie picked out as a name for a boy?
Yes, since I fell pregnant with Delilah. Charlie has always been our favourite boy’s name. We’ve always agreed on names. Scott said for ages,“I really want him to be born on my birthday,”and I said,“If we have a boy and he’s born on your birthday his middle name can be Scott.” I didn’t think that was likely to happen and then it did! It was so special and he looks just like his dad. I literally feel like I have a mini Scott with me the whole time.
What was it like when Matilda and Delilah met Charlie?
They met properly separately, because at first Delilah was like, “No Matilda, my Charlie.” She was a bit of a force. Scott’s mum took Delilah for a week and that gave Matilda some nice time with Charlie. Delilah has calmed down now and couldn’t be any more loving. Matilda has such a sweet soul and is always trying to cuddle her brother. The girls are very close. Even though they have their own beds they share a bed.
Has it been chaotic with three children?
I don’t have a nanny but my mum is amazing and helps me so much. Matilda is at school and Delilah goes to nursery. It was actually worse when I was pregnant and really unwell with hyperemesis. I had such mum guilt and felt absolutely
terrible that I couldn’t do nice things with the girls. I feel like I missed Delilah being two because I was so ill. I have some making up to do.
That sounds awful! How bad did your hyperemesis get?
It’s not just morning sickness, it’s really nasty. It absolutely wiped me out for three months – for a good two months I couldn’t even lift my head off the pillow. All the medication they gave me at the hospital didn’t work. My mum was my rock because Scott was training. We ended up living at her and my dad’s house for three months because I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even cook.
You said earlier this year that this would be your last baby...
Well, it’s funny because when you feel so dreadful you do think,“No way, absolutely never will I ever have another baby,”but as soon as Charlie arrived I just thought, “You’re so worth it.”I’m not ruling out having another, I’ve always said in my head I wanted four. But I would have to wait until Charlie is a bit older.
How was your labour with him?
I felt nervous before but I had a really good labour. It was short and such a magical experience. Once I got to the hospital I got in the water there and I felt quite calm. Charlie ended up pooing so I had to give birth on the bed. Five days before my due date I’d had a bad fall and had to go to hospital. My mum was watching Delilah and when I opened my mum’s front door Delilah ran out. My mum lives on a busy road so I grabbed Delilah but I had sandals on and went flying.
‘I don’t say anything negative about myself around the girls’
Were you OK?
I badly bruised my coccyx. I was a bit worried about it. When I went to hospital after the fall they asked me if I wanted to be induced but I chose not to as I thought it would be easier to give birth naturally. In the end I had to give birth on my side because I couldn’t lie on my back because it was so painful. Thankfully Scott was an amazing birthing partner.
How are you feeling now?
When I’m not pregnant I do struggle with my hormones and I get terrible PMS, then when I’m pregnant I feel like my hormones are really calm and I feel happy in myself. I feel OK after having the baby but I’ve always struggled a little bit with anxiety. It’s not postnatal depression but postnatal anxiety. I think it’s important to speak out because a lot of women do struggle and it can make other women feel better.
Does your anxiety lessen as each child gets older?
It does.You get all sorts of different worries after having a baby. It’s been different for me each time. I’m always on such a high straight after the birth and then I get anxiety. But it doesn’t make you less of a mum.
Absolutely not. You’re looking amazing, how are you feeling about your body four months on?
My body isn’t what it was but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love feeding my babies. As I’ve got
older I’ve become more accepting of myself. Going to the gym is not my priority and I do eat chocolate or cake most days. When you’re breastfeeding, sometimes you just have to grab something! Everyone finds their own way, but I find breastfeeding and co-sleeping really work for me, and Charlie is content. I like that your baby is always with you. Me and Scott had just got our bed back and then I fell pregnant with Charlie! We haven’t actually had a bed to ourselves for six years now because of the co-sleeping.
You have said that you share positive affirmations with your girls on the school run. What sort of things do you say?
When you’re a mother to girls there is more of a responsibility. I was chatting to Scott the other day and saying my body has changed, but I’ve got to be careful I don’t say anything negative about myself around the girls because I’m their role model. I don’t want Matilda to hear me say,“I don’t look nice.”I want her to be confident in herself so we say things like,“I am amazing.”
How are your wedding plans coming along?
We’ve had to pull back on the plans because of the pandemic as we’d like to get married in Italy. But I can’t wait for us all to have the same name, I’m so looking forward to our wedding. Right now I wouldn’t plan to get married abroad as I’ll get so invested that I’d be devastated if it all changes. I just want to wait until everything is a bit safer. We’re thinking 2023. It will be such a nice celebration because Scott and I have been together for such a long time and because of that we do want a big wedding. I have looked at locations in England but I’m really picky. I’ve just not seen anything yet that feels sentimental – I’m quite romantic and want something that’s perfect for us.
And finally, will we be seeing you back on Corrie any time soon?
I’d love to go back because I want to achieve things for myself, but I have to put my children first.They’re at the ages where they have so many activities and, while I can get childcare, my children want me a lot of the time.There’s lots of things I’d like to pursue work-wise. I’d love to do theatre and a drama. Hopefully if I got the right role and the right theatre I could work it around the kids – whereas with Corrie it can be too tying with the hours.