Is coffee secret to a lungo life?

THREE cups of “proper” coffee a day – not instant – can help you live longer,

the experts claim.

I’ve been hearing about these so-called experts since I was a kid – unless, of course, like the coffee I’ve just been mugged off.

Coffee breaks are always popular, especially at a nudist colony.

The guy who can carry two coffees and a dozen doughnuts is always by far the most popular person around.

Talking of which, did you know that rubbing ground coffee all over your naked body can reduce cellulite? It’s frowned upon in your local Costa, though.

Well, you can try it, but be ready for some dirty looks.

Coffee is drunk all around the world, and even out of this world in space too.

On that recent Virgin space flight, Sir Richard Branson couldn’t find any milk for his coffee. His crewmate had to inform him: “In space, no-one can; here, use cream.” Yesterday, I was up early and sitting there drinking a caramel latte in my slippers when I thought to myself, “I really need to wash up some cups”. Mind you, that’s not as bad as when I woke up late for work one day. I was really tired, so ended up mistakenly making an instant coffee with Red Bull instead of water. I got half-way to the studio on the M1 before I realised I’d forgotten my car. Apparently, only guys can make the coffees in Israel. That’s Hebrew for you. If you have a fancy pod machine, try making a hot chocolate with it today instead of a coffee.

You just need to use the frothy milk setting with a couple of spoons of chocolate powder. Just add a touch of cream and some sprinkles and it’s as good as anything the coffee shops offer… it’s a heck of a lot cheaper, too.