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I’M ashamed of how my son and daughterin-law are conducting their hasty divorce.
They’re being so childish and vindictive. Neither will give an inch regarding the house, cash or the children.
They only split up in November but my son has already moved in with his new partner and my daughter-in-law is dating an old flame.
My poor grandchildren are stuck in the middle and utterly bewildered.
I’ve asked both my son and daughter-inlaw to remain single, at least until the children turn 18, but both have told me to mind my own business.
How can two grown people be so selfish?
I HAVE made the fatal mistake of falling in love with the wrong person.
For the past six months I’ve been sleeping with a neighbour. He calls me his “friend with benefits”.
We end up in bed together whenever we’re bored, drunk or simply feeling horny.
He told me yonks ago that he’s not interested in relationships because they always end in grief.
I thought I could handle sex without love, but I just can’t.
I’ve fallen madly in love with him and I know he’ll be absolutely furious to hear the truth. He’ll accuse me of being pathetic and weak. But I’ve got to get this off my chest or I’ll burst.
I know he sleeps with two or three women besides me and the jealousy is ripping me apart.
Kissing
Just imagining him kissing another girl makes me feel sick. I want the guy all to myself. How do I make that happen?
He’s always boasting that our generation is modern and cool.
We make our own rules. We view sex as being as natural as eating and drinking.
That’s all well and good in theory, but the practice is very different, because he’s never factored in my breaking heart.
He’s the only person I crave or even think about. No-one else compares.
I’ve dated loads of other guys I’ve met online in recent months and all of them bored me rigid.
The problem is that falling in love is against the rules. I can’t stop imagining us building a home together, planning a wedding and having kids.
I’ve already chosen names and mentally decorated our love nest.
He won’t like that kind of “soppy” talk. Why do emotions always have to get in the way and complicate things?
JANE SAYS: I know you find this whole situation really upsetting and worry greatly about your grandchildren, but I’m afraid that this is what usually happens when couples split up – they do go on to date someone new.
You may feel that your son and daughter-inlaw are being rash but, for all you know, they could have been very unhappy – or even living separate lives – for a very long time.
Don’t be too quick to judge or interfere, because I fear you’ll end up the loser.
Let them both know that you’re always there for the children and for them. Offer to have the grandkids at weekends in order to give them some stability.
Maybe everything does seem chaotic right now, but hopefully – with your support – it will settle down in time. JANE SAYS: We’re all individuals with unique desires and quirks.
But it’s quite hard to have regular sex with someone and not feel any emotion at all.
You’ve enjoyed unbridled lust with your neighbour for quite a while. You’ve drunk, shared special moments and spent time in each other’s arms.
Now a little light has gone on in your heart – and things can never be the same between you again.
The fact is that you won’t be able to have cold, mechanical sex with him again, because you now need so much more.
You want passion and commitment and a future. You actually need to make love with feeling.
There can be no going back. You have to tell him how you feel before you drive yourself crazy.
Go round to see him and just be honest. Tell him that you are ripping up the rulebook, but you don’t care.
Who knows? Maybe he’s deliberately put up a barrier in order to protect himself and this is actually the news that he’s been waiting to hear? Stranger things have happened.
Sadly, if he laughs in your face and turns you down flat, then you will know that it’s time to change your life and find someone who IS willing to commit.
I hate the idea of you wasting any more time on a situation that isn’t going anywhere.