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DO you have an emotional or sexual problem? Our friendly team of professional counsellors and therapists are waiting to listen and offer support in total confidence every day between 10am and 8pm.
WOULD it be selfish of me to keep my lover when I’m incapable of having sex with him?
I have a condition that makes sex painful. Most of my relationships have broken down because of it.
I’ve really tried to make love like a normal person. I’ve experimented with warm, relaxing baths before bed.
I’ve purchased all sorts of sex toys and have been to calming meditation classes that I thought might help me, but nothing has ever worked.
I’ve never enjoyed sex, had an orgasm or felt like a real woman between the sheets.
Now I’ve met a wonderful man who insists that sex is not important to him.
He claims he loves me so much that he’s happy with kisses and cuddles.
Obviously, I pleasure him and satisfy him in as many ways as he and I can think of, but full intercourse and children aren’t PRESS 1 for GENERAL COUNSELLING for all personal and relationship difficulties PRESS 2 for SEXUAL GUIDANCE for all men’s and women’s intimate problems an option for us. He’s such a good person. He’s generous, kind and sensitive.
I just know that he would make an amazing father. Is it wrong of me to hang on to him? Is it my duty to set him free?
Will he ultimately start to resent me – or cheat – due to the lack of sex?
JANE SAYS: Your man is an adult who can make his own decisions.
He says he wants to be with you, so take him at his word. You’re not being selfish, because you’re not deceiving him in any way. Many couples are very happy and fulfilled in intercourse-free relationships.
Regarding your medical condition. I hope you’ve seen your GP and received second, or even third, opinions.
Medical science moves on and something you might have been told was incurable or untreatable a few years ago could be fixable now. It would be a terrible shame if you weren’t receiving the best treatment. And do keep your partner in the loop.