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WHEN I’m with my new girlfriend she’s old-fashioned and shy. She doesn’t like kissing in public and won’t hold my hand.
But when we’re apart, she sends me the most explicit sexts I’ve ever seen.
The latest ones feature her in a red basque and loads of make-up with a couple of risqué messages to match.
I’ve seen everything she has to offer via my phone, but not in real life as we’ve yet to make love.
It’s like she’s two completely different women and I don’t know where I stand.
I’d love her to be the vixen for real, but that’s not the girl I get. I’m a gent and would never share her images with anyone else. But, I have to admit, they do confuse me.
SHOULD I be worried that my new husband kissed another guy on our wedding day?
He says not. He claims that I’m over-reacting and making something out of nothing.
The guy I caught him in a clinch with was an old college mate.
Apparently they were drunk; they were mucking about and having a laugh.
He swears he’s not gay, but he and this guy have always joked about being in love.
All of their oldest friends are in on the gag and it means nothing.
But it didn’t look like a manly peck on the cheek to me – they were proper snogging…
Stumbled
They were holding each other like lovers – and they were horrified to see me as I stumbled across them behind the marquee.
We’re just back from our honeymoon, which was hell on earth.
I told my husband on the first night that I didn’t want to sleep with him, so we had twin beds.
He didn’t argue or even attempt to touch me. I ate early and he ate late and we passed each other in the bathroom.
In other words, the marriage wasn’t consummated then and still hasn’t been consummated.
Yesterday he sat me down and said that we have to give this marriage a chance. But is there any point? I worry that he’s only married me because he wants to please and impress his parents.
They are wealthy and expect him to take over the family business and do them proud. They like the idea of me, because I’m safe.
But I’m determined not to be used by these people.
There’s also the problem of my darling parents. They spent a fortune on my wedding.
They know nothing of my secret and I feel so guilty about embarrassing them and wasting their money. I’m still a virgin wife.
What am I going to do?
JANE SAYS: It’s much easier to be raunchy and bold from the privacy of your own bedroom, perhaps if alcohol has been consumed.
I suspect that your girlfriend feels confident and sexy when she’s relaxed and had a few.
The phone puts distance between you and this emboldens her. But that confidence deserts her in real life.
Be honest and tell her that you find these mixed messages really confusing. My feeling is that she’s a woman with hidden depths and longings.
But if you don’t have the patience for her complexities and just want someone who is straightforward, easy-going and friendly, then this is not the partner for you. JANE SAYS: Remember that your parents love you.
They would be horrified to hear that you’re frustrated and unhappy. Yes, they may have spent a lot of money on your wedding, but what’s money compared with your peace of mind?
Explain what has happened and offer to pay them back if it’ll ease your conscience.
But what you mustn’t do is stay in this sham marriage with a man who isn’t being honest with you.
I have no way of knowing what is going on in his head or what he’s feeling in his heart.
But you have eyes and you know what you saw.
Your husband was kissing his mate and it wasn’t an optical illusion.
It’s very sad if he’s only married you in order to keep up his image and please his parents, because he can’t be happy either.
Talk to him, talk to your parents and bring your story out in the open.
What he tells his parents is completely up to him, but you can’t worry about that.
Whatever happens, don’t allow him to bully or blackmail you into doing him a favour by carrying on as his wife, because you’re worth more than this.