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MY gorgeous sister is wasting her time on a married man who uses her for sex and has no intention (I think) of ever leaving his wife and kids.
I love my sister very much, but her blind faith and belief in this creep drive me insane.
Several nights a week he sneaks into her flat for sex and leaves with a brief: “See Ya”.
I keep warning her that she’s being used, but she always makes excuses for him.
I know someone who knows his wife. I get the inside track on their marriage.
From what I can tell, he’s devoted to his wife and my sister is nothing but a side order; the dirty secret giving his life added spice.
She’s clever and funny and worth so much more.
How do I stop her from throwing her life away when she’s convinced that he’s genuine and true?
MY partner thinks so little of me he cheated every night I was away earning money for us.
Back in January my boss asked me if I fancied a stint in Germany.
An office over there wasn’t being run properly so he offered me a big bonus to kick some behinds.
I was delighted to be able to earn some extra dosh and excitedly told my partner that we’d finally be able to pay off a huge chunk of our debts. My partner told me to “go for it”, so I did.
But while I was away, he soiled our sheets with a procession of other women.
Stupid
I’ve discovered that as well as four regular female colleagues, he also entertained one-night stands and hookers too.
I only know this now because he and his oldest friend have had a row over money and his mate has given me chapter and verse.
I just feel so let down and stupid. I’ve confronted my bloke and warned him I know everything.
He swings wildly between apologising and being ultra-defensive. One minute he’s sorry, the next he’s claiming that everything is my fault.
Apparently I should know that he can’t be left by himself, feels insecure and needs nightly sex.
During several of our rows, he’s even called me selfish for putting money before him! I like that.
I only went out there because he can’t stop hitting the credit cards. For me, nothing feels real anymore. It’s like I’m in a bad dream. The only person I can confide in is my sister – and even she’s now telling me she doesn’t want to know.
She doesn’t want to hear any more of my problems because I’m beginning to bore her. What am I going to do? Picture posed by models
JANE SAYS: Maybe you need to step back and start accepting that your sister is an adult entitled to make her own mistakes?
If she’s head over heels with this man – and you’ve already told her everything you know – there’s nothing you can say or do to put her off him.
Wash your hands of the whole affair and concentrate on your own relationships and business.
Your sister can’t help who she loves. Yes, she is being a fool, but love does that to people.
I suspect that she has to learn her own lesson, her own way, hard as that may be to witness. JANE SAYS: Your partner is skating on thin ice and he knows it.
If he had slipped up once during your time in Germany, then I might be inclined to give him a second chance. We’re only human and we all do stupid things from time to time. But the very fact that he entertained a host of women in your bed every night while you were away is deeply insulting.
It suggests to me that you are utterly disposable.
The minute you are out of town, your place is instantly filled. It doesn’t matter who the other woman is, your bloke will sleep with her all the same.
He isn’t seriously prepared to take any blame or responsibility for his actions either.
He’s not genuinely sorry for any great length of time and has every excuse at his fingertips.
Has it ever crossed your mind that you’re nothing more than a meal ticket to him? He’s a spendthrift and you’re killing yourself earning extra money, yet he has no respect for you.
Your poor sister must be tearing her hair out. She can obviously see that the writing is on the wall, even if you don’t want to.
Face it, this relationship cannot recover from this horrendous betrayal. You don’t know this man at all and deserve so much better for yourself.
Tell him “goodbye” then have a sexual health check-up and don’t look back.