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I HATE the way my best friend’s fella treats her. He’s a bully and a jerk.
If she dares to answer him back, he erupts like a volcano.
The other week he picked us up from work. She mentioned he’d driven through a red light and he threw us out and forced us to walk.
I know he also keeps her short of money and regularly humiliates her.
He sometimes locks her in the house when he goes out with his mates.
She tries to make light of their problems. She says that as long as she holds her tongue, and doesn’t annoy him, things are fine.
But why should she put up with this?
I ONLY stick with my girlfriend because she’s so rich.
I wouldn’t give her the time of day if she was not seriously loaded.
I don’t fancy her – I never have done. She’s hopeless in bed, looks a mess and isn’t even a nice person. Her idea of foreplay consists of her ordering me to “perform”.
She rips my clothes off and treats me like a piece of meat. I frequently have to fake my orgasms and if it wasn’t for Viagra I don’t know how I’d cope.
She has an ego the size of a train and constantly wants to hear how sexy, gorgeous and young looking she is. I find myself lying through my teeth on an hourly basis and I’m sick of it.
Rude
She’s only a couple of years older than I am but emotionally we’re worlds apart.
A few times recently she has talked about us getting married. Walking up the aisle with her would give me financial security for life but at what price? How can I wake up next to her for the next 40 or 50 years when I’m already close to hating her guts?
I can’t stand the way she’s rude to shop assistants and waiters. Just because she’s got money (mostly inherited but she does have a well-paid job too) she thinks that she can lord it over everyone.
I’m not like that. I think everyone deserves respect but I wonder who respects me when I’m too weak to leave her?
The reality is that my job pays next to nothing and I rely on her for my car, clothes and this roof over my head. I still have debts from my student days she knows nothing about.
I shove my bills in the boot of my car because I can’t stand to deal with them. I suppose if I do marry her she’ll be obliged to help me wipe the slate clean.
You see the predicament I’m in – I feel as though I’m living in a mink-lined coffin. I’m 29.
JANE SAYS: Tragically, it sounds as if your friend lacks confidence and self-respect.
Her boyfriend has ground her down to a point where she doesn’t have a voice any more.
Tell her you find his behaviour pathetic and urge her to move out.
Can she turn to family for support? Does this revolting man need to be reported to the authorities for his treatment of her?
Tell her she can contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247). She is not alone and there are people willing to help her.
As for you, show your disdain by having nothing more to do with the man. Don’t go round there and don’t get involved.
Make your own way home from work and don’t allow him to have control or influence over you. JANE SAYS: This is your life and you’re only going to get one shot at it. Why saddle yourself with a woman you don’t love, fancy or respect?
Life with her isn’t going to be easy. She’s going to expect sex, loyalty and your company. You’re not going to get away with spending her cash while living a totally separate life.
I understand you feel trapped because the world outside seems scary and cold, but you need to consider your self-respect, health and happiness.
If this woman isn’t capable of making you happy you’ll be throwing your time away.
Get your house in order. Pull all of those bills and statements out of your car and deal with them.
Be an adult about this. Work out what you owe and to whom, then set yourself a budget and targets.
As for your partner, you need to start being honest with yourself and her. If you don’t want to marry her tell her today that this relationship has gone as far as it can go.
Of course you’re going to experience some tough times but you’re only 29. With hard work and determination you can bounce back.
At the moment you’re frozen in time and that’s pretty weak and unattractive.