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I MENTIONED to my mother that she no longer wears her diamond engagement ring or any of her jewellery.
“No,” she said. “I’ve given everything of any value to your sister”. My sister is five years younger than me and a complete waster.
When I questioned this, I was told to “stop being so greedy” as I’ll eventually get half of the family house.
I don’t think it’s fair that my sister has already got her hands on all of my mother’s pieces.
Now my mother is refusing to discuss the matter and is accusing me of upsetting her by “keeping on”. But my feckless sister will sell everything for a fraction of its value and blow the cash.
GROUP sex has turned nasty and I’m not enjoying myself any more.
My girlfriend has become obsessed with organising sex parties with our neighbours and I’ve ended up the loser.
It was all going so well. The first few times we went over to our neighbours’ houses it was just “a bit of fun”.
I was drinking quite a lot back then and up for anything.
We drank, flirted and messed around. There were five couples (including us) who liked to push back the boundaries and let rip.
Exciting
The host couple would supply fresh sex toys, condoms and lube and the rest of us would cast off our inhibitions.
We’d give each other massages, play drinking games, and act out our fantasies.
The sex was fun, exciting and controlled. We performed for each other, swapped partners and collapsed in fits of giggles.
But about a year ago everything changed. Two of the original couples drifted away and a new pair joined.
I don’t like the new husband at all. He’s far more hard-core and demanding and I’m convinced he’s after my girl.
My mother died suddenly last September and I’ve definitely calmed down and become more reflective as a result. Yet my girl is still as gung-ho as ever.
She’s planning a party here, next month, which sounds too kinky for me. Yet she won’t listen to my opinion when I ask her to put it off. I’ve become jealous. I can’t stand the thought of my girl with anyone else. She wants more and I feel I’m being left behind.
The other night we had an almighty row about me being boring and a let-down.
Apparently, I’m not the guy she fell in love with and she’s disappointed and “considering her future”.
This is not the way I imagined things would be.
JANE SAYS: You must accept that your mother can do anything she likes with her own belongings.
If she’s of sound mind and body, then the decision is hers. You may not think it fair, but life isn’t always fair.
Would you consider appealing to your sister for at least one piece as a keepsake?
Speak to her privately and see if there’s a compromise.
But don’t get into a long, undignified wrangle that could potentially ruin you and rip the family apart.
Regarding your mother’s home – if she hasn’t written a will or discussed Lasting Power of Attorney, then would she agree to visiting a local solicitor with you with a view to putting all of her affairs in order? JANE SAYS: Clearly you once thought you could handle swinging and orgies. You thought your relationship was strong enough to survive other lovers, but you were wrong.
By opening the floodgates and bringing other people into your bed, you’ve bitten off more than you can chew.
Suddenly, you don’t like seeing your girl with other partners; you can’t handle the jealousy, the uncertainty or the competition. Face it, partner-swapping isn’t for you.
However, if these parties are still your girlfriend’s cup of tea then you and she really need to have a frank and honest conversation.
I urge you to come clean and start being truthful with her. Tell her, away from the bedroom, that you just can’t do this any more.
You can’t handle the pressure and need to go back to where you were before.
What does she think about that? Is she prepared to turn back the clock and solely have sex just with you? I’ve got a feeling that things have just gone too far and that your relationship is already headed to the rocks.
Get your sexual health checked out, too, and seek help from your GP if alcohol is a recurring problem in your life.