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I ABSOLUTELY hate the sight of my new wife – I should never have married her.
From her hatchet face to her brusque personality, I find nothing about her attractive.
We never lived together before we wed in September. I didn’t realise how cold and hard she can be.
We have nothing in common. She’s career driven and has no time for my family, friends or fun in general.
I had suggested holding a summer party for all the people we weren’t able to invite to our small wedding and she looked at me as if I were mad.
She even referred to my mates as “that free-loading bunch of half-wits”, which I didn’t think was nice.
MY creepy boss wants sex in exchange for an annual pay rise.
He and I were in a relationship up until February.
He’s married and was absolutely furious when I finally ended things with him after five very difficult years.
I got sick of stalking around, lying and having cheap sex in grotty places. He couldn’t believe it when I ordered him not to call or touch me again. He called me a bitch and an ungrateful cow.
Now he’s holding out on me. Everyone else in the firm has had a small increase except me.
The other day I got caught in the car park with him. It was so awkward. I took my chance and asked him for my money.
Kinky
His reply? “Well, you know what to do, don’t you?” In other words, if I get naked with him, then he’ll boost my salary. I’m already retching at the very thought of it.
The problem is that I’ve changed. I’ve moved on.
I’m in a decent relationship now and my new guy knows nothing of my secret shame.
I’ll admit that when my boss and I first got together it was fun. We drank loads, had sex on his desk and behaved very badly.
But the passion and the laughs are a dim, distant memory. I hate myself for being so weak.
How could I have been such a tart? Just the thought of him stripping off and demanding every kind of sexual position turns my stomach.
That’s another thing, the man has very kinky tastes in bed and expects “the full English” of sexual experiences. I want to tell him to stuff it but I need this job.
JANE SAYS: If this young marriage isn’t working and you don’t even like the woman you’re sharing a bed with, then maybe you need to admit your mistake and move on.
You haven’t been together for a year, yet you don’t have a good word to say about her.
It’s vital that you talk to her about your feelings because I can’t imagine that she is happy either.
See if you can go back to square one, learn from your mistakes and start over again.
See if you can find some middle ground regarding your friends and family.
If that’s not an option, then be big enough to acknowledge that you probably should never have got together in the first place. JANE SAYS: Even though you and your boss used to be close, he has to accept the fact that you’ve moved on.
Presumably you’re frightened that if you don’t have sex with him, then he’ll turn nasty and you’ll lose your job, but he can’t think like that.
This is 2017 and you are allowed to be who you want to be. Maybe your office-based affair wasn’t the greatest idea in the world, but it wasn’t actually illegal.
You don’t describe the size of firm you work for, but I get the impression that it’s a small one. Even a one-man band?
If you don’t have an HR department, union rep or another boss to speak to, then I suggest you check out Acas (0300 123 1100) for help and advice.
Your affair ran its course, now this arrangement needs to be put out of its misery too.
Yes, he might be the man who signs off your wages, but that doesn’t entitle him to anything away from the office. He’s a married man in a position of power and trust.
What you can’t do is allow yourself to be compromised anymore.
If there’s the slightest hint of a threat or blackmail, then speak to trusted friends or family members and go to the police.
As for your partner, does he finally deserve to hear the truth too? Should you clear the air?
You decide. Personally I think it would be a really good idea to get everything out in the open so that there are no more ghosts or skeletons.