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I THOUGHT my boyfriend loved and wanted me.
Now he’s said he’s leaving after only five months together.
He’s tired of city life and yearns to move back to the seaside town where he grew up.
He says he misses his friends, his family and the fresh air. Now I don’t know where I stand because he hasn’t suggested I move back with him.
He says I’d be bored and would miss my family and my job.
But, surely that’s for me to decide?
What confuses me is that we haven’t fallen out and that we’re as loving and as passionate as ever.
The thought of us not being together scares me. I keep crying in secret and making myself sick.
I’M having sex with three great guys and I don’t know which one to choose.
The problem is that they’re all brilliant and bring different things into my life.
One is flash and funny, another is kind and sensitive, while the third is a very bad boy.
If I could scramble them all up together, then I’d have my perfect man. All of them are hot in bed and all of them adore me, but picking one above the others is a nightmare.
I hate lying, cheating and sneaking around, but I’m in deep with all of them.
My sister tells me I’m lucky to be so popular, but I don’t feel it.
Lusted
If anything, I feel overwhelmed and slutty. I don’t mean to sound big-headed, but I’ve always been too popular with the guys for my own good. Being followed, praised and lusted after is my normal.
It’s lonely here in my ivory tower. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve been a bit of a star.
Teachers used to love me. Neighbours and relatives always said: “You’ve got something.”
From the age of 13 I had all the best-looking boys at school chasing after me. Now I’m 22 and the adoration continues.
I only have to snap my fingers and any guy I like comes running. Only this popularity is doubleedged, because only my sister will hang out with me and too many women see me as a threat.
My sister is married to a horrible man and says I should have as much fun as possible. But I’m in a different place to her. I long for a simple, uncomplicated life.
I’m sick of the endless texts, calls and emails from a group of men who all view me as their future and their prize.
JANE SAYS: Clearly you believe that your relationship is fine, but I’m not so sure your boyfriend does.
I get the impression he is attempting to let you down gently.
Surely it’s up to you whether you leave your current life and home?
Why doesn’t he think you’d fit in with his friends and family?
Talk to him again and tell him you’re not stupid. What’s really going on here?
Sadly, you may have to accept your romance is over and let him go.
Of course you feel sick and stunned at the moment – we all do when an important relationship ends – but he’s not the only guy in the world.
There will be someone else for you and hopefully he will go the distance. JANE SAYS: I’ve resisted the urge to say: “Boohoo, poor you.” I’m bigger than that.
But you have to understand that this is your life and you have to make the necessary changes that will make you happy.
You can’t continue to play around with these three guys. You are dealing with real lives and emotions. Maybe you are worried about causing hurt, embarrassment or even anger, but you’ve got to start being true to yourself.
None of these men is right for you. Whether they’re funny, sensitive or cheeky, not one of them stands out as “The One”.
Be strong. Tell each one in turn that you’ve had a wild time, but now the party is over.
You’re sorry if you’ve built up their hopes or given the wrong impression, but you’re in no position to commit to anyone. Ask them to get on with their own lives, while you get on with yours. If any of them do get nasty or start to harass you, then you’ll have to speak to the police – but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
What you have to learn from all of this is that you can’t play with people’s feelings. Having sex with several lovers at the same time may have seemed like a good idea for five seconds.
But with sex comes responsibility. Your lovers have quickly formed an emotional attachment to you and that is what often happens when we become intimate with somebody.