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MY childhood friend is only interested in herself.
Our relationship has been based solely on her moans about her lovers, financial problems and family.
A year ago, when I lost my job, she didn’t even bother to take me out for a coffee because she was busy with a kitchen extension.
I was told that she wasn’t interested in my bad news because it might “bring her down”.
Yet the minute I got a new job she was round to boast about her new car.
Her self-importance makes my blood boil.
She hasn’t even noticed that I stopped calling her months ago. How do I edit her out of my life when she carries on regardless?
I CHEATED on my husband with a stranger I met on a train.
I was on a long journey to Edinburgh and he was sitting opposite me.
We got chatting, started drinking gin and tonics and just clicked. He invited me back to his hotel room and I had sex with him four times over.
It was wild, wicked and rude and probably the best night of my life. I didn’t get his number so I’m unable to see him again.
Now I’m back home with my boring husband and wonder if I should ask for a divorce.
He’s not a nasty person and he’s not controlling or mean. He pays the bills and we have nice holidays and cars.
Massages
But there’s no spark between us. We have sex every other week and it’s always the same. He kisses me on the cheek.
He massages each breast for precisely two minutes and then goes in for the kill. There is no real stimulation or sexy foreplay.
He simply grabs a large tube of lube, rubs it all over me and lets that do the work for him.
Oral? Massage? Sweet talk? Forget it. I don’t get any of that. I’ve put up with this for years and now I’m sick of it.
Having tasted lust with my dirty stranger I now crave more. My husband visits his brother at weekends, but never wants me to go with him.
Either I see my sister or sit at home on my own silently screaming: “There must be more to life than this!” The other day I seriously considered going on another train journey, just for the hell of it, to pick up another stranger.
Dare I do it? Dare I finally live my life for once?
Our kids are long gone. All they ever want us for these days is cash and dog-sitting duties. I doubt they’d even notice if their dad and I broke up.
JANE SAYS: Clearly the scales fell from your eyes when you found yourself unemployed and your self-obsessed mate showed her true colours.
She didn’t care that you were unemployed or that your family were struggling to cope because she wasn’t interested in being inconvenienced.
The sad truth is that you’re nothing more than an audience as far as she’s concerned.
You’re someone she can talk at to hear the sound of her own voice.
Stop allowing her to use you and steal your time. The next stop has to be ignoring her calls and maybe changing your numbers.
If she still doesn’t get the message, then tell her to her face that you just don’t have the time, or the energy, to indulge her any more. JANE SAYS: I get it that your husband doesn’t light up a room or set the world on fire.
But he obviously does work hard. He provides for his family, he’s not unkind or cruel – and he sticks around. Life could be a whole lot worse, believe me.
You claim your grown-up children wouldn’t even notice if you and he split. Well, believe me – they would. They’d feel it very badly indeed.
I understand that you feel frustrated and unappreciated, but would going off with another stranger really be the answer to your frustrations?
Talk to your husband because he might just be as lost and unhappy as you are. Describe the kind of relationship you’d like and work together on making it a reality. Seek help through Relate if you think it will help.
Going through a divorce is heartbreakingly horrible for everyone. Don’t go there unless you absolutely have to.
As for your night of passion in Edinburgh, does your husband deserve to hear the truth?
Is it fair that you cheated on him with another man and he knows nothing about that? How would you feel if he pulled that kind of stunt on you?
Have your sexual health checked out and study your conscience.