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MY father is a vain, weak man who has allowed my mother to treat me like a piece of rubbish.
I’m 30 and jealous of people who have a good relationship with their parents, because mine are horrible.
He’s a waste of space, while she still contrives to control, undermine and upset me. I have no self-worth because my mother has always told me that I’m useless.
I now drink too much and indulge in self-destructive behaviour.
I haven’t spoken to either of them since before the summer, but they’re always in my head. How can I be expected to flourish and grow?
I CAN’T work out if my girl genuinely loves me – or is simply after my cash.
Every day she gushes about how much she adores me.
She cooks me meals, lays out my clothes and allows me to have any kind of sex, whenever I want.
But I’m the first to admit that I’m no Harry Styles and no girl ever showed an interest in me until I sold my first firm to a major corporation.
Today I run a food concession, which is also very successful. She has all the money she wants.
I don’t mind if she sends money overseas to her family or treats herself to designer outfits – it’s all the same to me.
But what does puzzle me is her attraction to yours truly. I’m not tall, dark or handsome.
Capped
My teeth are capped, my hair is thinning and being in the food industry means I’m never going to fit into 34-inch-waist jeans again.
She maintains a guy’s personality and sense of humour are more important to her than looks, but can that really be true when she’s so gorgeous and I’m like a troll?
The other day we made love. It was amazing as always. Afterwards I caught her, unguarded, with a faraway look in her eye.
I asked her if she was happy and she snapped back – like a trained actress – with: “Oh, yes, darling, you’re all I’ve ever wanted.” Really? Me?
The truth is that even I wouldn’t choose me on Take Me Out or Blind Date! There’s always a tiny voice in the back of my head nagging away and saying: “Why does she stay with you?” How do I get that little voice to shut up, so that I can really enjoy this fantastic journey we’re both on?
JANE SAYS: It’s brave of you to admit that the woman who gave birth to you is a nightmare.
We don’t all get on with our family and a destructive influence sometimes has to be severed for our own sanity.
Your parents may have blighted your early years, but you can’t allow them to overshadow the rest of it.
Visit your GP and tell him or her what you’ve said to me.
Explain that you need therapy to make sense of your life and to learn coping strategies.
It’s possible your parents actually have mental health problems of their own that make them the complicated people they are.
Check out the Mind website by visiting www.mind.org.uk for a breadth of information and tips on stress and emotional problems. JANE SAYS: It sounds like you suffer from low self-esteem.
Despite building up and selling on one very successful company, and now running another, you are still doubting yourself every step of the way.
Why shouldn’t your girlfriend love and fancy you?
If you can honestly put your hand on your heart and tell me that you’re not a monster, then why shouldn’t your personality and sense of humour be good enough for her?
Remember that not everyone is turned on by film star looks.
Look at all the people in Hollywood – from Sylvester Stallone to Benedict Cumberbatch – who are considered heart-throbs despite not being conventionally goodlooking.
The problem is that the more time you spend worrying about your girl’s motives, the more of your life you waste. Why worry when every day is good? Why stir up discontent when your girl has done absolutely nothing to make you doubt her?
Sadly, if the hard truth is that she’s only with you because of what you can give her and she is using you as a meal ticket for the folks back home, then she is clearly not the girl for you.
Don’t be too quick to put yourself down and too grateful to her for hanging out with you.
Start being more confident in yourself. Appreciate the fact that you are generous, hard working and unique.