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MY family and friends are totally unreliable.
I’ve planned a big party for Boxing Day, yet people are already dropping out. I’m furious.
I’ve ordered mounds of food and drink, but even my sister won’t commit because she “doesn’t know what she’s doing yet”.
In other words, I won’t see her if a better offer comes in.
I do everything I can to give people a fun time and I feel like I’m surrounded by dead weights.
The presents I receive are always rubbish, even though I put in a huge effort for everyone else.
Last year my mum gave me a bottle of bubble bath that had clearly already been opened and used, while my dad was so drunk by the time dinner was served he slept through it.
HOW do I stop being a pushover in 2018?
How do I stop bosses, friends and family from stealing my energy, time and money?
I’ve had a really horrible 2017 with my demanding parents, my unloving partner and my unreasonable boss.
I’m exhausted, demoralised and as mad as hell.
My partner tells me she wants us to stay together, but she refuses to live with me and she never wants sex.
Any time I suggest she stays over for a romantic night in, she calls me a pervert.
Recently I picked up some holiday brochures and pointed out a couple of hotels we could visit in the New Year.
Mean
She said: “Yeah, great idea, only I don’t want to go with you?”
With that, she suggested I give her the £2,000 I would have spent so she could fly off with her sister instead.
Needless to say, I refused and with that she branded me selfish and mean. You see, every nice thing I try to do backfires.
Then, there are my needy, controlling parents who are constantly on at me for cash and a boss who gives me every problem job and midnight shift in the book.
A few weeks ago, he made me drive 50 miles to deliver presents to a married woman he’s sleeping with behind his wife’s back.
The husband thought I was the one who was sleeping with her and thumped me.
And that is how low I have now fallen. I am being punched by strange men in strange towns for no good reason.
My boss’s response was to laugh his head off, give me a fiver for my trouble and tell me to pull myself together.
This worm is about to turn and it’s not going to be pretty when I blow my top and tell everyone how much I hate them. Why does my life have to be such rubbish?
JANE SAYS: You have high expectations regarding Christmas.
You yearn for a Hollywood movie experience, but real life isn’t like that.
Real people are annoying and disappointing. You may try to mould your family and friends into your vision of perfect, grateful guests, but you can’t turn them into something they are not.
Grit your teeth and get through it the best you can. Set mental limits regarding presents and effort and don’t exhaust yourself.
If your Boxing Day party is a flop, then you’ll know what to do next year – book a holiday in the Canaries and spend your cash on yourself. JANE SAYS: After too many years of pandering to other people you’ve finally decided enough’s enough. I’m sure your parents, partner and boss all view you as a soft touch, but you need to tell them the party is now over.
If your partner isn’t even interested in spending time with you, then what is the point of your relationship? Tell her today that unless things change for the better then you will be off on that holiday in the New Year – alone.
The same goes for your boss. Sadly, the man no longer has any respect for you and what you do for him.
Make 2018 the year you work out what it is you want from life and make it happen. If you need to retrain or get more qualifications, then look into it.
The problem with your parents is that they’ve become complacent and expectant. They’re your mum and dad and you’re never going to get any others. But you’re all adults now and a certain code of conduct needs to be adopted.
It’s really good that you are so angry and that things have come to a head – because you now have the energy and determination to turn everything around.
Use your anger and turn it into action. Move on with determination and a strong plan of action.