Peugeot's a big letdown
5008 HAS VANITY ISSUES`
IF I was in the market for a huge car, would I want a Peugeot 5008?
Well I’ve just had one at home for four weeks and you’d think I’d know by now.
Thing is, there’s no way I’d ever want a car the size of a 5008 anyway, so let’s change the question.
If I was in the market for a mediumsized car, would I want a Peugeot 3008?
You’re not kidding I would. I’d crawl 100 yards over burning coal to get my hands on one of those, but its big brother? I’m not so sure.
The 3008 is an absolute knockout. Looks, performance, comfort, kit, ride… it’s got the lot. No wonder it is the current European Car of the Year.
The 5008, though, has got me puzzled. How can a car that’s simply supposed to be a bigger version of the 3008 have such oddball looks?
I wouldn’t say it’s got a face that only a mother could love, but I wasn’t surprised when a visitor asked me: “What’s that you’ve got on the drive? It looks like a hearse.”
To be fair, I hadn’t thought of it like that but when she pointed out its 5ft 4in-long double pair of side windows, all dark tinted, I could see that she did have a point. Compared to the sublime beauty of a 3008, the tank-sized 5008 is decidedly ugly. There’s nothing beautiful about it at all. It’s more like a coffin with a racy front end.
For the rest of the time I had it, not one person commented on it.
Oh well, let’s get inside it and… what the hell is that? It’s got the same wonderfully supportive, quilted leather seats as the 3008, along with smart rocker switches, swathes of leather and silver and a cracking dashboard, but it’s all set in a background of what looks like office wallpaper.
My top-spec GT Line model had clearly had its final design touches made by a Swiss watchmaker trying to re-create the effect of his factory environment. It’s a mish-mash of hi-tech kit and luxury touches yet it’s finished off with all the elegance of a B&Q warehouse.
My car came with a 150hp 2.0-litre diesel turbo with enough torque – 370Nm (274lb) – to pull a broken-down bus, and driving it long distances was an easy-going pleasure. Trouble was that it constantly stalled at traffic lights and T junctions and its suspension settings were such that rough road surfaces, never mind potholes, made it so unpleasant to be in that passengers felt queasy even after half an hour in the car.
I guessed that changing the suspension setting back from sports to comfort mode would cure this, only to discover it already was in comfort.
What with its jiggly, constantly stalling ride, questionable looks, conflicting interior and sheer size making it a nightmare in car parks, you’d think I’d had enough of the 5008 after just a couple of days, never mind four weeks, but a few things had already impressed me about the car a long time before Mr Peugeot came to take it away. First was its fantastic dashboard display, made easy to view by being above its short and stubby flat-bottomed steering wheel.
A rotating button gives drivers the choice of five different screens, with the instruments appearing normally, twisting to the side or being replaced by digital read-outs. I chose “navigation” mode which was more than just a toy, but a wonder to behold. I loved it. Then there was its silence. Here’s a car that will cruise along at 80mph while
it’s turning over at 2,000rpm in sixth. No wonder it was so quiet and it was quick, too, when pushed, with a surprising ability to tackle bends at speeds despite its strange floaty steering feel.
The radio is one of the easiest and simple-to-operate of all today’s offerings, many of which are so ridiculously complicated and touchy to use that you’ll lose stations just by trying to programme one into it.
And the boot is absolutely vast, making it one of the 5008’s main selling points.
It’s 3ft 6in deep before you fold down the middle row of seats, which gives you 6ft 6in of space, while the rear row of seats is simple to fold up, and does actually leave room for two adults.
Because there are no wheel arches to ruin the space it’s wide, too, so when my local bin lorry went past my house because I’d forgotten to put out the wheelie bin I simply slammed it in the back of the car, drove after it and got it emptied while I waited.
It may be ugly, it may have its faults but you know what, now Peugeot have taken back the 5008, I’m missing it.