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MY two sons wouldn’t throw a bucket of water over me if I was on fire.
I can’t get them to meet up, come over or even talk to me on the phone. They’re 24 and 26 and so busy with their lives they forget I exist.
I gave up everything when I had them at 22. I dumped my job and friends and dedicated myself solely to bringing them up.
My late husband (he died in 2011) was a fantastic provider who paid every bill. My sons never had to lift a finger and wanted for nothing.
Now they treat me like a nuisance. I ring both of them every day and always get voicemail. Even when I text, I just get a “fine’” or “OK”.
I feel rejected and used. At Christmas I had a terrible flu but neither of them came to see me. I’M a woman with no self control.
My friends call me Loosey Lucy. Give me a drink and a bit of loud music and I’m scanning the room for fresh meat.
In clubs I’m a predator and a lush. After work I can’t stop myself from getting off with colleagues in the local pub.
In everyday life I’m quite shy and unassuming but drink gives me confidence. People say they can’t believe the difference in me once the white wine comes out.
I work for a large go-getting firm. It’s very testosterone driven. Lots of the guys I work with are hardcore and vain.
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Our day-to-day work is stressful and competitive and we have a boss who drives us to the limit.
As a result, our drink-ups are lifesavers.
Unfortunately, booze and me aren’t good bedfellows.
Give me a large one and I’m anybody’s. I’ve had sex in the disabled toilet and back alley more times than I care to remember.
My best friends from school get me and forgive me anything, but I know that a lot of other people in the office now despise me and laugh about me behind my back.
I’ve started to hate the weak person I’ve become.
Doing the walk of shame down the office the next morning is excruciating – especially if I’m still wearing the same clothes from the night before or haven’t had time to shower and remove my make-up.
Too often I wake up and remember all the terrible things I did the night before and wince.
My best friend says that I’m the funniest person she knows and begs me not to change because I’m always the life and soul.
But I’m digging myself into a hole here and I don’t like the way my life is going.
JANE SAYS: Maybe you need to tell your selfish sons that you don’t want either of them weeping and wailing around your graveside when you eventually die.
Yes, of course they’re busy, everyone is, but would it kill them to make a little time for you? You didn’t want a reward for giving up your career and your life for them because it was your choice to do so, but some recognition and attention would be nice.
You can’t force anyone to contact you, but you can make your case and then think very carefully how you’ll treat them – and any children they may have – in future.
In the meantime, get out there, find new interests, make friends and start living this next stage of your life. JANE SAYS: You need to remember it is not your job to entertain everyone else.
Your friend may find your antics hysterical, but it’s not your role to be the life and soul of every party – you’re not a clown. I fear that too many people are using and mocking you.
Something is going to give and then where will you be?
From working hard to having random sexual experiences you’re burning the candle at both ends and pushing yourself too far.
What about your health? Your dignity and your happiness?
Drinking excessively is so dangerous as is having sexual contact with casual partners. Do you always carry (and use) condoms?
Can you be sure that the men you’re intimate with are as careful about the other people they sleep with too? I fear that every time you walk into that pub you put yourself in danger. Therefore if going straight home isn’t an option, then is this really the office for you?
Also, is there anyone you need to apologise to?
Find yourself another job in a less manic office and start again.
Ultimately, you have to start taking care of yourself. Contact Alcoholics Anonymous on 0800 9177 650.
Also think about your so-called friends and the way they view you – is it time to edit them out of your chaotic life too? Think about