BETWEEN June and October last year I had a big affair with my ex-boss.
It was fun at first, with boozy evenings in the bar near our work and then sleazy sex in his office or cheap hotel rooms.
Things turned cold when the weather changed and he told me I was boring for not wanting sex in the back of his car.
He went back to his old mistress and I was moved to a different department.
My mate lived through the whole experience with me and agreed he had been a nightmare.
Now I’ve discovered she is sleeping with him instead.
I just can’t believe this. The mistress has moved abroad and my so-called mate has nipped in.
What I can’t get over is the deception. We do everything together and she never told me she was thinking of this. I feel completely let down.
JANE SAYS: Your friend is her own person and if she thinks sleeping with him is a good idea, that’s up to her.
As you’re no longer with him, you don’t have a say.
It’s tough when we see someone we once cared for with someone else, but from what you say, your friend is probably going to have her hands full with him.
Will you offer her a shoulder to cry on when her fling (almost inevitably) flops?
Resist the urge to take the moral high ground and leave her to make her own mistakes, her own way – as you made yours.
A LOCAL bad boy is charging me for sex.
I’ve gone from being a respectable divorcee to a desperate housewife.
The problem is that he is just so addictive – I fantasise about him all the time.
I can’t be bothered with friends or family because he’s all I want.
He’s not good looking, witty or much of a one for conversation, but gosh he’s just incredible in the sack.
At the moment he is charging me £75 for “home visits” but says he’ll have to put his prices up soon due to “market forces”.
His visits are an hour long and consist of heading straight to my bedroom for 60 minutes of filth. He’s like an animal. Anything goes and I’m left exhausted and glowing.
I don’t ask him what he does the rest of the time, but I do know he has a terrible reputation locally as a bit of a ducker and diver and a rogue.
We got together a few months ago in a local pub garden. I’d been stood up by an internet date and was fiddling with my phone. He asked me if I had a spare cigarette and we got chatting.
One thing led to another and he ended up back at my place. That first night we made love and he asked me to lend him £75 because he was broke.
Well, I’ve been “lending” him the same amount every time since and we have got into a habit.
Whenever we make love, it’s in a frenzy of lust and abandonment. He’s so dangerous that I can’t get naked quickly enough.
I realise this is not a healthy situation. I often hate myself once he’s left me alone, but what can I do when I desire him so much?
Also, what if his price goes up to £100, £200 or £300 and I can no longer afford him?
JANE SAYS: As addictive as this man is, you’ve got to take stock and put a stop to this silly game.
Where is it going to end? Think about your self-respect, your sexual health and your reputation. You have no way of knowing who else he’s sleeping with. And, if he really is a “bad boy”, what’s to stop him blackmailing you?
Say you form a proper relationship with someone decent and lovely and this guy then comes back to haunt you.
Can’t you see that this man is taking you for a ride. The fact he even mentioned upping his price should set alarm bells ringing.
Do yourself a favour – sort your life out and start again. Is there something you want, too?
If you’re bored and underemployed then think about adult education or volunteering work. Make this year the one you compile a list of challenges and tasks and claim back your life.
What is it you are anxious to do and achieve? Anything has got to be better than being serviced by a devious wide-boy.
Don’t forget that he sought you out in that pub garden. He could obviously see that you were upset and vulnerable, and he swooped.
Also, if you’re paying another adult for sex, then what does that make you?
And please get your sexual health checked out as soon as possible. OUR cousin has always had everything.
She’s more Jammie than a Dodger and I can’t help feeling jealous of her. As a child she got every popular toy and a pony.
Now she’s married to a dynamic man and together they run a very successful business.
They have a beautiful home, holiday villa, cars and gadgets.
Her health club membership and access to state-of-the art beauty treatments also mean she looks 10 years younger than me.
What really annoys me is that she never rings me, although she describes me as her dearest friend.
When I do track her down, all she does is boast about the great time she is having.
I feel like the poor relation. How do I get her to treat me as a priority? JANE SAYS: You need to stop looking over your shoulder and start living your own life.
The fact is that none of us really knows what goes on behind someone else’s front door.
Your cousin could be under enormous pressure running her business and managing her relationship, hence her reluctance to call you more often.
Perhaps you should arrange to meet her for a cup of tea and tell her, face-to-face, that you’d like to see more of her. Could you put some dates in your diaries?
However, if she fobs you off and makes an excuse about being busy, then maybe you need to accept that the two of you are not as close as you once were and move on.
She’ll always be your cousin, so she’ll always be in your life, but perhaps you need to find a new best mate?