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MY girlfriend is sleeping with four other blokes.
She gushes that every guy in her life is different – and brings something unique.
She couldn’t possibly choose between us and, apparently, it’s unreasonable of me to ask her to.
From the hipster who takes her to cool venues to the city trader who showers her with designer gifts, she’s never felt more popular or cherished.
And if I don’t like it, then I know what I can do…
When she and I got together last year she made no mention of the other guys she regularly sleeps with. She made me feel special, like I was the only man in the world for her, and I fell very deeply, very quickly.
Humiliation
But then she disappeared on holiday and it was only on her return that I discovered she’d been with a male ex-colleague. She brushed off my hurt and humiliation with a brusque: “This is the 21st century, you know.”
Since then, other lovers have continued to come out of the woodwork and I now realise that I’m the fifth person she regularly gets naked with.
I’ve told her that she needs to stop mucking around and commit herself to me, but she refuses to settle down.
Whenever we’re together we have a great time; we enjoy dinner and sex and holding her in my arms is just the greatest.
I ask her over and over to be mine, but she giggles in my face. She says she’s not interested in settling down when there’s so much more to do and see. What she really means is that she’s having the time of her life and doesn’t see why I should have exclusive dibs.
But I don’t think the way she’s carrying on is right or decent, do you? Surely she’s being selfish and irresponsible and needs to grow up?
JANE SAYS: Your girl is absolutely right; this is the 21st century and (unfortunately for you) she’s free to bed anyone she fancies.
You may not approve of her lifestyle choices, but as she’s not fleecing anyone she can carry on as she likes. The reality is that she isn’t hiding anything from you. You realise that you’re one of five men she beds and if you don’t like the current situation, then you know where the door is.
You love this woman and you want her to love you back, but she isn’t interested in an exclusive relationship. No matter how hard you try, and whatever you throw at her, she refuses to drop her other men for you.
Do yourself a favour and back off. Stop wasting your energy on an individual who has her own agenda. You have to start protecting your heart and your feelings.
I realise you’re not ready to give up on her yet, but how much more humiliation can you take?
What has she got planned for this summer? Is she going to be jetting off to foreign climes with her rich trader? Or off to festivals with her hipster dude? How will you feel when you’re left alone at home yet again?
Consider your mental and sexual health. You’ll never find the kind of partner you crave while she’s still in your life.