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MY sister-in-law refuses to discipline her two children.

She says she doesn’t believe in rules and thinks children should be unshackled and free.

That’s all very well, but her idea of “free spirited” and mine are very different. I don’t like it when her son bashes my daughter over the head and isn’t told off for it.

I don’t approve when her children throw their food, make a mess and then run away laughing.

My mother-in-law (her mother) is a very nice woman but I can tell that she’s in a tough position.

She doesn’t want to criticise her daughter, but why should I have to endure hideous family get-togethers, when the truth of the matter is that my husband’s sister is too lazy to lay down any house rules? There’s a Christening planned for next month and I want to go away in order to miss yet another nightmare. JANE SAYS: The safety and happiness of your children has to be your first priority.

If you don’t like the idea of them mixing with cousins who push them around, then you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. I’m not saying that your sister-in-law is right or wrong – she has her own reasons for bringing up her children the way she does – but you don’t have to suffer.

Ultimately, if you believe that this Christening will be a trial, tell the proud parents that, unfortunately, you won’t be around.

Tell your husband you have no desire to fall out with his sister or mother but, for the sake of your own wellbeing, you’re making other plans.

Your children are vulnerable and will only be young once.