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USUALLY the first rule of holes is to stop digging.
Unless your name is David Beckham in which case you hire an industrial excavator and tunnel your way to the deepest, darkest place you know.
This week it’s becoming increasingly difficult not to stare at the squeaky voiced one in awe as his golden balls reputation shatters.
Speeding in a posh motor. Tick. Hire some uber-expensive lawyer to get you off. Tick. Take your Corpse Bride alike wife out to celebrate with a wallet-busting meal (even though she doesn’t eat). Tick.
Cue new happy family holiday pics in laughable attempt to put things right. They were pictured (totally unawares of course) strolling with pals through the vineyards of Chateau Lafite Rothschild in south-west France.
The mates in question are no-one special. Gordon Ramsay and his missus Tana, plus Hollywood A-lister Eva Longoria.
But the most hilarious thing about this supposed masterclass in “ever so humble folk going for a country walk” was the fact that a snapper caught the fleet of monster, chauffeurdriven limos shadowing them about 10 feet behind.
Talk about a PR stunt backfiring. Just in case you weren’t aware of how patronising Brand Beckham is this drove the point home – with a Mercedes and several Audis!
Which is ironic given that this latest disaster for football’s former first family started with a car.
A £200,000 Bentley to be precise. The shiny toy Dave was caught doing 59mph in while driving through a 40mph zone.
Now if it were you or I we’d admit we were idiots, pay the fine and move on.
Not our multi-millionaire hero though. Oh no. Rather than play the good guy and polish his role model status he had the gaul to hire socalled “Mr Loophole” solicitor Nick Freeman.
He is famous for getting the rich off on driving charges. And he didn’t disappoint this time as the case was thrown out as legal papers had been served a day late. Becks walked free. He then took Posh out on a date night in Paris, where they posted Instagram snaps of the £1,300 bottle of red wine they had.
Last year there were 203 fatal collisions in the UK with speeding a factor. Even Freeman admitted “that from a moral standpoint” Beckham was in the wrong.
Grieving dad Gareth Edwards, 53, lost his baby daughter in an accident caused by a speeding driver. He offered to take David to his little girl’s grave to show him the reality of ignoring speed limits. He’s still waiting for a response.
Brand Beckham is worth £340million and has survived infidelity claims, tax avoidance issues and those foul-mouthed texts about not being knighted.
Whether it will survive this latest exhibition of arrogance and stupidity is another matter.