WHAT’S HOT TO WATCH TODAY
I’M so happy I could burst. THE APPRENTICE is back. And on the evidence of tonight’s opening episode (9pm, BBC1), this 14th series is going to be as side-splittingly funny as ever.
One of Lord Sugar’s 16 new candidates even comes out with a contender for my TV Quote Of The Year, as his team prepares to negotiate with a shopkeeper.
“Let’s not go in there looking like a group of idiots,” he declares, clearly having failed to grasp the whole point of the show.
Both sides have been dispatched, by the way, to Malta – don’t ask me why – for this initial challenge, and told to buy nine specific items of significance to the island’s culture.
Being Mediterranean, of course, the lifestyle there is different from ours in some respects.
Many retailers, for instance, will close for an afternoon siesta, then reopen for the evening.
But this, it seems, is news to candidate David, who seems to have concluded the locals are all just bone idle and/or out to foil his team’s efforts.
“It turns out people sleep all day round here,” he huffs. ALSO tonight, JOANNA LUMLEY’S SILK ROAD ADVENTURE comes to an end (9pm, ITV). But not before she’s attended an Uzbekistani wedding with none other than Rayhon G‘aniyeva, that nation’s biggest pop star, who’s been hired to perform.
It’s a fancy do, to say the least, although the bride and groom look as miserable as hell.
“It’s the tradition here that they ignore each other until after the ceremony,” Joanna explains.
Ah, right. In our own tradition, of course, married couples have years to do that. Follow Mike on Twitter @mikewardontv.