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I HAVE been sleeping with my cousin’s bloke for months.
This whole situation is a farce. They have not lived together for a year, but haven’t officially broken up either.
She’s still got him listed as her partner on social media and he has pictures of her on his phone.
He tells me he loves me and definitely sees his future in my arms, but is still not prepared to tell her about us.
We’re creeping around in secret and I’m tired of it. I’m not allowed to park my car outside his flat (I either have to turn up on foot or by cab), he insists I wear a hoodie until I’m through the front door and he won’t allow me to stay overnight either.
Stalk
Needless to say, we don’t go out on proper dates. We stay in, eat pizza, drink cider and have sex – loads and loads of it.
I’m not going to pretend the sex isn’t brilliant, because it really is, but it often feels as though that’s all we’ve got.
I know that he used to take my cousin out to nice bars and restaurants and I want that too.
He says going public is out of the question until “everything is sorted out” but when is that going to be? Does he expect me to stalk through the shadows forever?
I’m 26 and believe I’m in the prime of my life. I think I look fantastic; I work out every other day and loads of blokes at the gym fancy me.
Yet the one man who rocks my world is determined to keep me hidden. How does that work? I’m not sure my cousin would care about me seeing him; she’s obsessed with her career right now and earning shedloads of cash.
I know for a fact that she used to cheat on him – my bloke – when they were together full-time because my late aunt used to give me all the family gossip and scandal.
How do I make my lover realise that I’m the best thing that ever happened to him?
JANE SAYS: It’s high time you woke up to the fact that your lover still isn’t over your cousin. They may not physically live together at the moment, but his heart and head are definitely in a different place to yours.
Please find the courage to walk away because you are so much better than this.
From creeping around in a hoodie to getting out of his warm bed in the middle of the night, he’s taking you for a fool.
I’m sure your sex life is red hot, but it’s cheap and tawdry. If he can’t stand up and declare: “She’s with me now,” then you’re wasting your time and your talents. Also, do you honestly think it’s a good idea to sleep with your own cousin’s man? I know it’s always said that we can’t help who we fall in love with, but isn’t he a little too close to home for comfort?
What about those other guys who adore you? What about giving one of those a chance?
My worry is that your lover will drop you the second his estranged partner shows the slightest bit of interest in him once again.
At that point you’ll be branded the black sheep of the family and life will be far from pleasant at future family affairs.