BOOZER BOND HAS A ‘SERIOUS DRINK ISSUE’
JAMES Bond has a severe booze problem and should seek help, a report says.
Researchers analysed all 24 of the MI6 agent’s films and concluded he drank “heavily and consistently over six decades”.
In one binge aboard a plane in Quantum Of Solace, he downed six martinis, which is enough to “kill most people”.
And 007 was urged to stop tangling with dangerous animals such as Komodo dragons, snakes and scorpions as well as evil henchmen after hitting the sauce heavily.
The report by New Zealand academics – entitled Licence To
Swill was published yesterday in the Medical Journal of Australia’s Christmas issue.
The experts concluded: “We classified him as having severe alcohol use disorder.”
And it says: “Chronic risks for Bond include frequently drinking prior to fights, driving vehicles (including in chases), high stakes gambling, operating complex machinery or devices, contact with dangerous animals, extreme athletic performance, and sex with enemies.
“He should avoid drinking on the job, in particular when anticipating a gunfight. Complex tasks, including aerial combat in helicopter gunships and deactivation of nuclear weapons, are best done with a zero blood alcohol level.”
The academics put some of the blame for his heavy drinking on his job and urges MI6 to be a “more responsible employer” by offering counselling.
They also suggest M no longer offers him a drink and looks to reduce his stress levels by offering more field support so his duties are lessened.
And Bond should avoid drinking with sexual partners “who may want to disable, capture or kill him”, as nine of his 60 lovers have tried.
The report adds: “Bond should not allow knives in bed nor hide guns under pillows.”
The Star Says: P8