C\jY`Xe \o YXZb `e kfne

I KNOW my girlfriend was in a relationship with another woman before she met me.

She insisted on telling me all about their three-year love affair on our first date. She wanted me to be fully aware of the facts.

Now this woman has moved into the same town as us and, suddenly, I feel extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable.

They’ve started meeting for coffees and nights out.

I’ve told my girl I won’t tolerate being cheated on or lied to. She swears I’ve nothing to worry about but is still insisting on being this woman’s friend.

What if she’s still in love with my girl and makes a move? I am terrified their affair is going to reignite.

This woman has since been in relationships but is currently single.

I’ve not met her – I don’t want to – and this is leading to criticisms from my girl that I’m smallminded and homophobic. JANE SAYS: You’re only human and you’re protecting your position.

Of course your girlfriend is entitled to have her own friends, but do ask her to see things from your point of view too.

How would she like it if an old flame of yours suddenly started hanging around? Any of us would feel vulnerable that a partner’s ex lover had moved in locally and was back in contact.

As with all things, there has to be compromise and understanding. Tell your girl you resent being labelled homophobic. But do emphasise that she is hurting you because you feel like second best and no longer understand your position in her life.

Unfortunately, if she’s unable to reassure you, then is your relationship strong enough to go the distance?