9<K @K JEFN

I’M dreaming of a white Christmas.

Not the kind that some idiot Chelsea fans allegedly want. I want snow.

I am usually a Scrooge at this time of year but I’m trying to get into the spirit.

My girlfriend said to me: “If you buy me another terrible gift this year then I’ll put it in the bin.”

She’s going to love the extra-large bin liners I got her for Christmas.

I’ve also just bought my niece a fridge for her to unwrap under the tree.

I can’t wait to see her little face light up when she opens it. I’m already

I’VE been watching some videos of David Bowie touring the Middle East.My favourite is when Ziggy played Qatar. Get on Guitar Pete in Caspian Caviar Gold Cup Handicap Chase at Cheltenham (Paddy Power) – 10-1 AFTER Theresa May won her vote of no-confidence this week she announced Brexit will go ahead and the UK will leave the EU as soon as the DFS sale ends. It’s a certainty in my book that May will be ousted in 2019 (Sky Bet) – 4-9