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WHY is it my job to make sure everyone else has a great Christmas?
I’m frazzled and already full of resentment.
The tree is up and the food is all sorted but no-one seems to care about me.
My daughter was supposed to be coming with her boyfriend and new baby.
I was really looking forward to meeting my latest grandchild, but she now says her bloke is insisting they go to his parents’ instead. I’m gutted.
The people I do have coming over are my irritating in-laws, my husband’s alcoholic brother and his new partner.
Snob
She once told me that I’m both a doormat and a snob. Work that one out.
I’d love to see my son over the festive period, but nailing him down is like wrestling with jelly. He’s got a new boyfriend whom he’s obsessed with and I suspect they’ll be doing their own thing with trendy friends.
Last year my in-laws were here for three days and that was bad enough.
This year they’re threatening to do six and I’m ready to blow my top because my partner never runs this stuff past me first.
I already know I’ll need to go to the supermarket virtually every day in order to feed them.
It would never cross my motherin-law’s mind to bring food or help with the washing up because she believes she’s above all that.
Last year my father-in-law was in the middle of an affair with a colleague. He kept sneaking off to make phone calls. It was pathetic. We all knew what was going on, except his wife.
In the end my brother-in-law got so drunk he blurted out the truth and then fell on the Christmas tree. Chaos ensued and my mother-in-law threatened to attack her husband.
How do I prevent a repeat? JANE SAYS: If you are determined to avoid last year’s drama happening again you need act now. Put your foot down. Tell your husband he needs to ring his parents this minute.
Six days is far too long for any of them to stay over, so you all need to go back to the original three as planned.
If there is still time to shop, your in-laws need to be encouraged to bring over a decent contribution in terms of food and drink.
And washing up and tidying away needs to involve everyone, no matter how grand they feel they are.
As for his alcoholic brother and his rude partner, if they can’t behave and show you due respect, maybe they need to go elsewhere for their free feed?
I don’t think there’s much you can do about your son and daughter. They have their own lives, but if your daughter really is being dominated then you have to get her on her own in the new year to talk about her mental and physical health and safety.
Her partner has got no right to control her and she needs to think about getting out if he is a problem.
Insist on some calm time for yourself. Go for a walk, watch some films and enjoy yourself.