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I HAVE never had much luck with bosses.
One told me there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities.
He sacked me when he found out I had a serious drinking opportunity.
A boss said I should dress for the job I want, not for the job I have. I was sacked for turning up the next day dressed as Batman.
I lost a job selling jars of Colman’s for refusing to thin the condiment with other substances.
The boss said I just didn’t cut the mustard.
I got in trouble with a boss when I asked if she minded if I had an advance.
She said that would be fine but sacked me when I placed my hand on her thigh.
Another fired me for having bad posture. I had a hunch it was going to be me.
I thought I was doing well in one job when the boss described me as “one to watch” in our office. Sadly, he was talking to security at the time. He told me that I couldn’t accept criticism. I told him he was wrong and to go f *** himself. That was the end of that job.
In fact, the only boss I’ve ever really had time for is Bruce Springsteen. But I would have never undermined the head honcho in the way Chelsea keeper Kepa Arrizabalaga did to Maurizio Sarri last weekend. The Blues kit man struggled to get the kits ready on time as he said the Wembley grass stained the players’ shirts quite badly in the League Cup Final – but unlike the keeper it does actually come off.
The wheels were coming off Chelsea’s season until their surprise win over Tottenham in midweek.
I reckon they will get a win over London neighbours Fulham, who have just sacked their boss Claudio Ranieri, tomorrow.
PADDY POWER: FULHAM: 5-1 DRAW: 10-3
CHELSEA: 1-2 I WOKE up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me. See the light with a bet on FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHT 1.45pm in Physicool Conditional Jockeys’ Handicap Hurdle at Newbury today. LADBROKES: 6-1