G\jk\i\[ Yp Zi\\g
THERE’S a bloke who fancies me. Maybe I should feel flattered, but I’m not. He simply won’t leave me alone.
He’s a pal of my brother’s. Any time we go out, he’s there staring at me.
Once he’s had a few drinks he comes over and sits at my table. He asks if I want to go out with him. I say: “No thanks.” But he obviously views me as a challenge.
In nightclubs he stands too close. He looks furious when I dance with other blokes. Recently he caught me snogging a guy from my work and caused a scene.
I was mortified. The thing is, this isn’t 1819. I’m not going to be ground down by a relentless suitor who won’t take no for an answer. My mum jokes that he’s an old romantic like Mr Darcy or Romeo, but he’s not. He’s creepy.
I’m tempted to go nuclear and put him in his place, but I’m scared I’ll upset or even split the entire group if I do. JANE SAYS: I agree. There is nothing romantic or charming about a person who won’t respect your position and go away.
You are not a character from a Jane Austen novel waiting to be rescued by a dogged hero. You’re a living, breathing modern woman and you can make your own mind up regarding who you fancy and who you wish to be with.
At the moment, this guy’s behaviour is inappropriate and insulting. Clearly he believes that he can grind you down, but how dare he try to monitor your every move and cramp your style?
There’s nothing romantic about a leech or a control freak in my book.You’ve got to get tough so that he knows exactly what you’re thinking and where you stand.
Organise a meeting with a trusted older adult in tow and simply tell this guy to desist or you will report him to the police.
If that upsets the friendship group then tough. You’ve had enough and now need to stamp this out for once and for all.