‘The only thing I miss is the banter’
DAVID Seaman, former Arsenal and England goalkeeper, tells me he has a recurring nightmare. I don’t doubt it.
I’m assuming it’s his fatal fluff in the 2002 World Cup, letting Brazil’s Ronaldinho scoop a free kick over him from 30-odd yards, sealing England’s exit.
That, or being lobbed from half that distance again in the dying moments of 1995’s European Cup Winners’ Cup Final – by Zaragoza’s Nayim, ex of fierce rivals Spurs.
But no, I assume wrong. “In my dream,” he reveals, “I’m about to play in a match when I suddenly realise I haven’t got my kit. I often have that one. It’s really weird.
“Mind you, I did once turn up at an England training session with two left-handed gloves. That was for real.”
So I take it, deep down, he’s missing that old matchday buzz?
Apparently not. “Honestly, Mike, I haven’t missed football since the day I retired,” insists David, who quit in 2004, aged 40.
What he has missed is the banter. Hence he was thrilled to be approached for a new ITV series kicking off tonight, Harry’s Heroes: The Full English, where ex-England pros reunite for one last clash with old enemy Germany. Overseen by Harry Redknapp and assistant John Barnes, the likes of Paul Merson, Matt Le Tissier, Ray Parlour, Neil “Razor” Ruddock and David himself are challenged to regain at least a smattering of match fitness to face a team of German veterans.
“Yes, it was great to see all the lads,” he admits. “It was like being a footballer again.”
Some of these ex-pros, as you’ll see, are in better shape than others, but they’re all rather chunkier than in their playing days. Ruddock, the most extreme example, is now the size of a tank. Harry fears they’re “a heart attack waiting to happen”.
But David is the least of his worries. “I haven’t let myself go,” he assures me. He and his wife, left, pro skater Frankie Poultney (they met on Dancing On Ice in 2014), still regularly take to the rink. “It’s a great workout. We do lifts, spins, all sorts. And I love my bike. I’ll often blast off 25 miles.”
And do other road-users recognise the ex-England keeper, peddling like a loon down the A4 near his Berkshire home?
“No chance! I’m wearing my hat, glasses, everything. Plus I’ve got no ’tache or ponytail now!” Ah, yes, the legendary Seaman ponytail. Does he miss that?
“No, I don’t!” he laughs. “I only had it for four or five years, you know. The ’tache, now that was different. I was born with that!”
I sense that David’s easy-going nature (“I was never one for shouting and bawling on the pitch”) have played a key role in keeping him sane in retirement.
Even before that, as other players wrestled with addictions (for team-mate Paul Merson, for instance, it was booze, gambling and coke), David was getting hooked on fishing. It’s still a huge passion. “I’d been playing golf to relax, but sometimes I’d walk off the course more frustrated than when I walked on. I was like: ‘Hang on, this isn’t working’.”
He still watches plenty of football, largely for his talkSPORT breakfast show role with Alan Brazil. And there’s plenty in today’s game that impresses him. “I saw a stat that said it was 30 to 40% faster than in my day. That’s amazing.”
As for the crazy wages, not a problem. “It’s just market forces. It’s not that different from film stars.”
Retiring at 40 was David’s own choice. He’s sure this helped him adjust. “When players have to quit early through injury, that must be a whole different mental thing. I don’t know how I’d have coped.”
It helps, of course, that he enjoyed a hugely successful career. Even those rare howlers never fazed him for long. “That Ronaldinho thing was obviously on a massive stage, but those moments can make you stronger.”
And Nayim’s trophy-winning lob? “Yes, Spurs fans are forever reminding me of that,” he chuckles. “But I’m lucky. I’ve got nine winners’ medals. That’s what I point out if they get lairy!”
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Harry’s Heroes: The Full English is tonight and tomorrow on ITV at 9pm. David supports the British Heart Foundation’s charity cycle rides. Details at bhf.org.uk/ bike-rides.