My red-hot babe is giving me burnout
BONDAGE AND SEX PARTIES
MY partner demands sex every night – her way.
She storms home from her stressful job like a rock star coming off stage. She’s hyped up, adrenaline-fuelled and pumped.
I have a large bottle of something cold all ready for her – and then she’s ready for me.
We hit the bed and I’m putty in her hands. I have to do everything she orders, no matter how wild. Role-play, sex toys, bondage, it’s all meat and drink to her.
Fizzes
At weekends she likes to invite like-minded friends over for threesomes and sex parties. Our hot tub fizzes with testosterone.
Luckily our neighbours are open-minded and indulgent.
The old lady one side is often away at her daughter’s house, but we occasionally feel obliged to invite the bloke over the back to join in or he simply ogles us anyway – which some people find off-putting.
The problem with our situation is that it’s so one-sided. My partner is definitely in charge and is becoming more demanding and bossy with age.
I don’t believe she treats me as her equal any more and that’s demoralising and tough.
Recently, at one of her parties, she insisted I had sex with her friend who was feeling angry and horny after a messy break up.
I didn’t particularly feel like performing for the crowd (we had six other guests over) but felt obliged or I would have been accused of spoiling the party.
Even then my partner stood on the sidelines shouting her orders and telling me what to do.
Everyone found the whole spectacle absolutely hilarious, apart from me.
When I look back at my life I honestly couldn’t tell you how I’ve ended up in this place. I’m not happy but feel trapped.
JANE SAYS: Your partner needs to calm down and take stock. At the moment she’s charging around and treating you like her plaything, but you’ve hit your limit and she needs to be careful that she doesn’t burn out.
She has to hear that you’re not happy living this life.
Suddenly everything is too fast and too extreme and you hardly know who you are any more.
Insist on a serious chat so she finally gets to hear that you’re running on empty.
What does she think she’s playing at?
Make it clear that the performance with her friend was both humiliating and something of a final straw as far as you’re concerned.
Don’t allow her to accuse you of having a sense of humour failure.
Stand your ground and insist on substantial changes from today.
Don’t issue ultimatums because they always have to be carried through. But do think clearly about how you wish your life to be in one, six or nine months.
If she’s not with you, then do you need to think about going it alone?