Scared she will trap me
MY globetrotting brother has returned home with the most beautiful wife – and I’m already obsessed with her.
He’s always been a geek and I’ve no idea how he’s bagged this angel. My sibling’s simply not worthy of the woman. She’s amazing and there’s already a spark between us.
He’s got all the personality of a dead fish whereas she is fresh, sexy and funny. I divorced in 2016 and have been living back in our parents’ home ever since.
My brother and his wonderful lady are here too while they save up for their next jaunt.
He’s working in a nightclub while she’s a carer. Often he’ll be out until the early hours and she and I laugh and chat in my converted garden room.
More than once my mum has warned me not to get too close, accused me of over-stepping the mark and playing games behind my brother’s back, but if his wife doesn’t mind, why should I?
It’s not as if I’ve had full sex with the woman. All we’ve ever done is kiss, grope and indulge in a little mutual masturbation, but that’s teenage stuff? It’s not like I’ve taken her to bed for real.
The other night my brother came home early with a headache. He couldn’t find his wife in the main house so started ringing her phone. Of course she was with me and we had to make up a story about her spotting a huge fox in the bushes.
We just about got away with it, but now I fear my brother is suspicious and starting to monitor her moves. Why is life so unfair? How do I persuade her to ditch him for a new life with me?
JANE SAYS: Your brother can’t be all that dull if he spends his life touring the world visiting interesting places. What have you got to offer apart from a converted shed in your parent’s garden? I’m sorry to sound harsh but you’re behaving appallingly.
You shouldn’t be spending so much time with your new sister-in-law and she certainly shouldn’t be groping, touching or snogging you.
She’s a married woman who should know better and you’re a trusted brother guilty of a terrible act of betrayal.
Where is your loyalty? Your decency? Or your brotherly love? Your mother clearly isn’t stupid, but I suspect she’s worried about taking you on and making waves. I bet she hopes you’ll experience a pang of conscience and this whole mess will fizzle out.
Is that going to happen? Are you suddenly going to wake up and accept that what you’re doing is wrong?
Maybe you aren’t having full sex, but intimacy counts as cheating, too. Back off and tell your sister-in-law to take stock too.
Is she going to come clean and tell him the truth so he knows where he stands and they can start again? Or is she actually as unpleasant and selfish as you are? MY girl jokes that unless I give her a baby then she’ll steal my sperm anyway.
We’ve only been dating for six months but she has already decided I’m perfect breeding material.
She’s attractive and go-getting. Maybe I should feel flattered she’s chosen me, but as I’m not interested in becoming a father, ever, I’m furious and scared.
She claims she is still on the Pill and will tell me when she’s not, but can I trust her? Would using condoms be insulting at this stage of our relationship?
JANE SAYS: With sex comes responsibility. If you now realise that your girlfriend wants a baby – and you don’t – then you have to walk away.
You can’t take a chance. A baby is a living, breathing vulnerable human being. If your girl is genuinely threatening to trick you into fatherhood against your wishes then she is not for you.
Parenthood is a serious matter, it’s something that ideally should be discussed, considered and planned for.
Take her “joke” as an early warning and move along. Be honest about your determination not to be a dad.