Wild girl punishes me with kinky sex
IT FEELS LIKE I’M HER TOY
MY new girlfriend can’t leave me alone and I’m beginning to feel used.
Every time we go out she hangs on to me like a dead weight. She kisses my neck, whispers in my ear and snogs me in front of my mates.
She makes no effort to talk to anyone else and it’s embarrassing. Recently we were in the pub with a crowd of my old school friends and she was groping and touching me under the table.
She wanted to go into the disabled toilet for sex and begged me to drink up and join her.
They’re not stupid and could see what was going on and I had to beg her to leave me alone.
Sulk
She promptly folded her arms, went into a sulk and demanded to go home. Back at my flat she made me “pay” with six hours of kinky love-making. I was tied up, spanked, ridden and humiliated.
One minute she was screaming that I’m cruel and selfish. The next she was declaring that she loves me more than life itself.
At about 3am I had to plead with her to let me sleep. I was exhausted and raw. Yet less than five hours later she was waking me up for fresh action.
Is she a sex addict? I don’t know how else to explain her unquenchable appetite for my body. I’m an OK fella, but I’m not that great. If she had her way we’d never go for meals, drinks or out anywhere. She is not interested in what I think or my career, only my presence in bed.
It worries me that she doesn’t seem to have any friends or interests of her own. She works hard and has enough money, but it’s sex that motivates her. I sometimes wonder if I am anything more to her than a prop.
JANE SAYS: This doesn’t sound like a healthy situation to me. Your girlfriend swings from one extreme opinion of you to another in minutes. Your relationship is entirely bed-based and she can’t even be bothered to show respect or basic manners towards your friends.
If she is not willing, or able, to give you the kind of life you crave, then isn’t there a danger you’re lying to yourself and wasting your time?
The union is one-sided and deeply unsatisfying as she isn’t interested in anything but your body.
Just because she works hard doesn’t mean that she can use you as her personal plaything. Explain how confused you are by the nature of this relationship. Where is she coming from?
What motivates her and where does she see the pair of you going?
What you can’t do is waste your time and energy on someone who could be a negative force. Is she willing to tell you anything of her personal history? Was she let down in the past?
Can she tell you why she has no friends?
If she does have addictive tendencies, then she should be encouraged to consult a health professional. MY friend is angry that I’m back on my feet again.
She doesn’t like the fact that I have a new job, a nice boyfriend and have holidays planned.
She liked me best when my ex-hubby was abusing me.
She enjoyed making me her project. I appreciate that she gave me sanctuary and lent me money.
But I’ve paid her back and thanked her. I’m no longer weak and needy.
How do I stop her from being resentful about my new life?
JANE SAYS: I suspect, during your darkest days, that you made your friend feel useful and wanted.
You became her reason for getting up in the morning and she derived personal satisfaction from supporting you.
But nothing stays the same and she needs to stop being jealous and childish.
If her own life is boring, then what is she doing about shaking it up?
Seek her out for a chat. Thank her again for everything, but do ask her to be happy for you.
You’ll never forget that she helped to turn your life around.
But this is your time now.