Andy Lea’s telly movies

JUPITER ASCENDING ★★ (2015) 5STAR, 7pm Mila Kunis’s cleaner is dragged into intergalactic shenanigans when Channing Tatum’s pointy-eared alien warrior anoints her queen of the galaxy. The plot is denser than a black hole but the bizarre characters are entertaining. Eddie Redmayne plays a nipple-flashing villain in leather pants while Sean Bean manages to keep a straight face as a half man, half honeybee ex-cop.

★★★ Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton keep their tongues in their cheeks to play the gingerbreadscoffing duo as kick-ass vigilantes fighting child-snatching witches. It’s daft, naff and at times a little cheap looking. But if you’re in the right mood, it’s heaps of fun. ★★★★★ Don’t miss it ★★★★ Good ★★★ Average ★★ Time filler ★ Garbage