FRIGHT FOR LIVING DEAD
Canaries to dig big Ole
I ONCE went out with a vampire. She was really good looking but was a right pain in the neck.
But she left me when she fell in love with another vampire. She said it was love at first bite.
It hasn’t put me off Halloween though. I love it mainly because it’s the time of year when girls use fancy dress parties as an excuse to wear barely anything.
I’m no stranger to fancy dress. I once put a sheet over my head to pretend to be a ghost at a party. But I was barred by the landlord of the craft ale pub where it was being held. He said they didn’t serve spirits.
Later, a barman at another pub didn’t serve me because he thought I was drunk. I said he was mistaken and that I was only sheet-faced.
I picked up a Dracula costume from the fancy dress shop this week. At home
I opened the bag and was surprised to see that there was only a Liverpool kit inside.
I rang the store and said to the assistant: “You obviously misheard me, I said I wanted to go as a COUNT.”
In the build-up to the October 31 scarefest I got a job making plastic Draculas. There’s only two of us working there so I have to make every second count. Before you laugh at children who believe in ghosts and vampires, remember there are adults who still believe in Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. I reckon Manchester United could well lose to Norwich tomorrow and if they do Ole’s days as manager will be numbered soon.
Bet Victor: NORWICH to beat MANCHESTER UTD – 33-10 Solskjaer next Premier League boss to be sacked – 2-1