JOKE OF THE DAY

NFFC

❑

Is Boris Johnson delivering us a complete and utter break from the EU where we answer to nobody about our laws, immigration, and our border control. If the answer to any of these issues is no, he will lose thousands of votes. EBG

❑

I used to like Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson until they talked politics. Stick to the comedy guys! We don’t want any more May days! LABOUR MAN

❑

For all our sakes let krankie Sturgeon have her referendum, t go and be independent, look after yourselves. MM

❑

Panto seasons starting early this year. You’ll be seeing plenty of Dick Turpins etc trying to get your vote. WIDOW SPANKY

❑

how many men do you need at a mafia funeral? One, to close the boot. tony worksop

❑

I’ve got a fridge for the wife’s birthday present! Can’t wait to see her little face light up when she opens it! Dave Icetray

❑

My bathroom overlooks the railway line every time a train goes by it goes ha ha, must close the curtains. SUNDANCE

❑

a sed 2 mi mate, hyennas make love 6 times a day, he sez no wonda they always laffin. pete blade

❑

I’m new to gardening and I’m learning slowly. I do like Alan Titchmarsh but he always seems a bit advanced for me! It’s a good hobby, give it a try you old uns!

RETIRED GREENFINGERS told neighbour My couldn’t me that he that find the thingy and the peels the carrots he asked his potatoes so had seen it. kids if they she left him Apparently yesterday. Country girl 4EVA

❑

So Bristol council is to fine drivers of diesel vehicles £100 for driving in Bristol. If you’re vehicle is classed as lower tax clean vehicle go to court and make them pay legal costs. Stockton jeff

❑

now nat crime agency hav finally d cided to crack down on drug dealers, paedophile rings and county line runners, don’t bother asking me to give the names of those involved. I have been attempting to stop the above since 2006. For my efforts I have been bullied, insulted and assaulted with cops walking away cos a pillar of community involved. Lily the pink

❑

for heaven’s sake when is this country going to wake up.

Tilly posing after a shampoo & set. Jason Orme, Runcorn