Mid-life crisis has made him so cruel SPACED OUT ALL THE TIME
HOW do I get my man to accept that he’s having a mid-life crisis?
I barely know him any more. He’s socialising with a new, much younger crowd and dressing like a rapper.
He’s always travelled for work, but now he’s roaring about in a secondhand sports car or motorbike.
He’s not interested in anything I say or do and has dropped all of his oldest friends. His best mate is genuinely worried about him because he thinks he’s taking drugs and sleeping around.
Funeral
That wouldn’t surprise me because he often seems spaced out and has taken to sleeping in my son’s old room.
Last month his uncle died and he reluctantly went to the funeral with me. He was a nightmare and made a sad day all about him.
He wore a parka with a huge fur hood and refused to speak to his family. Instead he played with his phone and kept his earbuds in, even during the interment. I was so embarrassed.
Later he disappeared and I was forced to get a lift home with his parents, who were furious.
His dad blames his job. He feels my bloke’s been overpromoted and is overpaid. Suddenly he thinks he’s infallible. Any time I approach him there are fireworks. He tells me I’m mad and that I’m the one with the problems, not him.
He thinks he’s being perfectly reasonable and I’m behind the times. Yet when I ask to be introduced to his new friends so I can understand things better, I’m told I won’t fit in.
Now there’s a suggestion he might be moved to the New York office. I don’t even know if I’m being invited along or if our relationship will survive the split.
JANE SAYS: Most of us lose our way at some time. It’s called being human. We might drink too much, hang out with the wrong people and generally mess up.
It sounds as if he’s having his blip now. Money has enabled him to reinvent himself and power has given him the confidence to break out.
But where does all leave you?
Tell him you’re suffering and would like to know where you stand. If he does take this job in New York, then will you be involved or will this be where the two of you part?
Make it clear you are certainly not “mad” and resent that that insult. Remind him that you started this relationship as respectful equals and you don’t deserve the way you’re being treated.
Is he happy? Despite his bravado, is he conflicted and suffering in silence? Does he need to speak to his GP about how his life is going?
Ultimately, you also have to consider your own emotional wellbeing. If your man really is destroying your confidence, you need to find a safe space in which to find yourself again.
Make sure that you help and support too. seek MY partner thinks it will be a big laugh to buy everyone DNA testing kits for Christmas.
His mum was adopted and his dad never knew his real father. This is a very bad idea as far as I’m concerned because I’m not 100% sure our eldest son is his.
I was secretly still sleeping with my boss when he and I first got together.
Lets just say that there was something of an overlap. Our younger two are definitely his, but I would never wish to hurt my first-born who is a sensitive lad as it is. Help.
JANE SAYS: These kits aren’t toys. They’re not to be messed with.
Tell your partner that this is a really bad idea. Surely if his parents were curious about their heritage, then they’d have already dug deep themselves?
Your family could be devastated by the results. Insist that this matter is off the table. Christmas is all about love, thanksgiving and warmth and he needs to think again.
If your eldest does eventually unearth some troubling home truths, then that’s another conversation for another day.