I’m having steamy sex with mate’s ex
HE’S GOT HOT AND WEALTHY
I FEAR my mate will hit the roof when she hears I’m having fantastic sex with her newly rich ex-husband.
He and I have been secretly dating for six months. He’s such a wonderful person and I’ve never been so happy, but live in terror of her catching us together.
When they divorced in 2015 it was because he was unemployed and depressed. He hadn’t worked in years and she got sick of “carrying him”.
As they had no children, they gave up their rented flat and he moved in with his brother.
I listened to her slagging him off for months and convinced myself that he was a loser.
Cheat
But then she went to live in Spain and I split from my longterm partner after I discovered him cheating on me.
One night, last spring, I was enjoying a drink in a pub garden when a gorgeous guy said: “Hi.”
I had to do a double-take. It was my mate’s ex-husband. He’d lost 2st and looked amazing.
We got chatting and he asked me out on a date. What can I say?
I fancied him, so I went. My mate was still in Spain and I was sex-starved and lonely.
During our third date he revealed he was wealthy. He and his brother had struck it lucky with a clever idea and he was now living in his own new-build.
We made love a couple of nights later and I’ve been walking on air ever since.
The only problem is that my mate is now home for Christmas and desperate to see me.
My guy and I are dodging around behind her back. What can I say to her when I know from her sister that a yoga retreat she was trying to set up has failed and she is struggling for money?
Will she label me the biggest gold-digger of all time? What if she tries to come after him for cash – or spitefully split us up?
JANE SAYS: You need to remember that you were never married to your mate.
If she still has unfinished business with her ex-husband, that’s for them to sort out. You and he are single and free to date who you like.
Why do you need her permission, especially if she hasn’t even been around for a while? You didn’t deliberately try to hurt her.
You didn’t even recognise her ex when you met up in that pub garden. The fact is that a lot has happened since they split. She’s lived abroad and he has turned his life around. You can’t keep this relationship a secret for ever, because someone will spot you in the end.
Talk to your boyfriend, work out the best way forward, but don’t allow yourselves to be intimidated.
Does he think it would be a good idea for you to tell your friend about your relationship? Does he want to do it?
Is he inclined to meet her anyway to discuss money or are they over and done with?
Be bold and don’t feel you have to apologise for finding love and happiness a second time around.
I WORK with two tricky and immature colleagues. I get the impression that they loathe me and love the idea of getting me into trouble.
Recently they pretended to have an argument in the office. I could tell they were playacting – basically they wanted to see if they could get me to take sides and gossip.
One invited me down to the canteen and started slagging the other one off.
But I refused to rise to the bait. What have I done to deserve this?
JANE SAYS: Your workmates sound utterly pathetic.
If they’re not stimulated or don’t have enough to do, then that’s not your problem. Keep a diary and write down everything that has happened so far.
Speak to your boss or someone in HR and explain you’re being picked on.
If you don’t feel comfortable speaking out at work, then check out acas.org.uk for advice and guidance.
My feeling is that your silly colleagues are intimidated and scared by you.
They can tell that you’re far smarter and more talented then they are and long to trip you up.