Ex blackmails me with 3-some tape
WILL HE SEND IT TO DAD?
MY on-off boyfriend jokes that if I don’t get back with him he’ll send my parents our sex tape to open on Christmas morning.
Should I be worried? He’s very unpredictable and I struggle to understand what he’s thinking at the best of times.
At the moment he’s angry and frustrated because I’ve told him I need some time to myself. I just feel overwhelmed.
I get it that he loves and adores me, but I often feel suffocated when we’re together.
He always wants to know what I’m doing, where I’m going and even what I’m thinking.
Party
Recently, he really embarrassed me at my friend’s leaving party. She and three others were made redundant out of the blue.
My friend was devastated but 10 of us agreed that we would go for a meal to say goodbye.
My boyfriend turned up (uninvited) and drove everyone crazy with his insensitive comments and stupid practical jokes.
He drank too much and then realised he didn’t have any money. I was mortified, especially when my friend burst into tears in the toilet and blamed me for making her feel worse.
I asked my bloke for a break the very next day. We’ve broken up lots of times in the past but this time is different because this dreaded sex tape is on his phone.
It’s like an unexploded bomb. I don’t know why I ever went along with making it.
I only agreed to get naked and perform for the camera on his birthday for a special treat. I didn’t realise his flatmate was coming into the bedroom to join us or that she would be so insistent on a threesome.
If my dad does actually see me naked with sex toys on one side and bondage straps on the other, then he’ll have a heart attack.
He’s never liked my boyfriend and regularly says I’m a fool for indulging him. How did I ever get myself in this mess?
JANE SAYS: Please do speak to your parents about the stress you’re under.
Nothing gives this man the right to frighten or blackmail you.
Threatening behaviour is an offence in this country and he could find himself in prison for alarming and distressing you.
Revenge porn is a very serious matter and if he’s got any sense he’ll delete that film and keep away from you. While you may not be proud of how you behaved, you deserve to be left alone.
The relationship is over now and he needs to start accepting that.
I suspect that your parents will want to report him to the police.
Here is a person who doesn’t know how to behave and crashes from one disaster to another.
If his life is empty without you in it, then that’s very sad.
But it’s not your job to keep saving him when he’s clearly unworthy of your love, time and attention.
MY new boyfriend can only make love to me once he’s popped a blue pill.
I find this insulting. He’s only in his mid-30s. He works out and looks great.
Why can’t he get turned on naturally? Why isn’t the sight of me naked enough?
We’ve only been together for a few months, but he makes no secret of the fact that I have to wait for his “Blue Steel” to work before getting down and dirty.
In everyday life he’s a real alpha male, very brash and cocky. It just doesn’t add up.
JANE SAYS: You can’t blame your man for being honest about what he needs.
At least he’s not fiddling around behind your back trying to hide something.
There’s no shame in admitting that he needs a little help.
We’re all different and we’re not robots. Has it not crossed your mind that he might be worried about disappointing you or letting you down?
Obviously no-one is saying that you have to stay with him, but I like the fact that he’s adult enough to admit that he needs support.