Shame over romp with friend’s fella
ONE-OFF SEX WAS A DREAM
I REGRET sleeping with my best friend’s husband.
In my defence it only happened once and they were officially separated at the time. He was dating other people and she had moved in with her lover.
Yes, they were still technically married, but he told me he was a free agent and fully entitled to do anything he liked.
We bumped into each other at a party and chatted for hours. He and I used to go to the same school and I actually introduced him to my best friend – the woman he eventually married.
As kids, he and I would always dance together at school discos.
Idol
My sister used to joke that I fancied him more than my idol Robbie Williams, but we never got together. In many ways I’ve always regretted introducing him to my mate, because he could have been mine.
Seeing him again at that party was lovely. We laughed about old times and we shared a taxi home, but he didn’t come in.
He texted me the next night and this time we enjoyed a proper date with drinks, dinner and sex. It was amazing.
He was just as good in bed as I always imagined he’d be and when he left in the morning I was deliriously happy. But, sadly, my whole world fell in later that day.
My friend phoned and said her neighbour had seen me in a bar with her husband. Now I’m public enemy No1. My friend and her man are back together again and I’m being ostracised for being sneaky and unsisterly.
People say they can no longer trust me around their menfolk.
I’ve tried to text my friend’s husband a dozen times, only he’s refusing to reply.
JANE SAYS: Your friend heard about your date with her estranged husband and saw red. In that split second she sobered up and realised that you could be a genuine threat to her marriage – and she grabbed him back.
Now they’re a couple again and you find yourself out in the cold. Others are backing the pair of them and calling you disloyal and predatory.
In many ways it was naïve of you to take things so far when you knew they hadn’t officially broken up for good.
That old “we were on a break” line is as open-ended as a plastic straw. What makes other people’s relationships tick is often more complicated and unfathomable than we can imagine. All you can do now is lie low and get strong again.
Don’t try to contact the man again because you don’t want to be accused of harassment. Keep away from anyone who is insulting you or trying to bring you down and accept you blundered.
I doubt if your mate will continue to be your best friend because she now sees you as the enemy. Crack on with rebuilding your life.
Make this new year – and these Roaring Twenties – your time to love, laugh and shine on your own terms.
I’D love my man to be a tiger and a fighter, but he runs from problems.
Any time anyone upsets him he retreats to his old bedroom at his mum’s house.
He’s just left another job because he couldn’t get on with the boss.
He’s given up driving lessons because he didn’t like the instructor and dumped two good mates for annoying him.
When we first met he was going to judo classes and had signed up for higher education.
I struggle to respect him when he’s such a flake.
JANE SAYS: I fear he is always going to disappoint you.
He knows that his mother will always have him back so he doesn’t feel he has to challenge himself.
By all means talk to him about his personal goals and how fabulous a sense of achievement can feel.
If he has mental health issues, should he speak to his GP?
But don’t pin your hopes on him being “The One” if you can’t respect him.
What you definitely can’t do is allow him to hold you back or to become frustrated yourself.