Girl doesn’t know of secret gay lust
I CRAVE THRILLS IN BARS
DOES my girlfriend need to know that I seek out male partners for cheap thrills?
The reality is that she’s the only person I have full sex with. In my mind I’m not quite sure if I’m cheating or not.
Twice a month I’m required to travel to Europe on business. I stay in the same hotel and follow a regular pattern.
After meetings and conferences with my European colleagues I go out on my own to particular bars and clubs.
I hook up with familiar faces and chat to strangers too. I feel comfortable and at home with guys who look and think like me.
We drink, dance and fumble but I never get naked or go too far.
Guilty
I never invite partners back to my own hotel room or form any kind of emotional attachment.
If a guy starts getting demanding or wants more than I can give, then I cut and run.
I can honestly say that my girlfriend is the love of my life and I’m not interested in living with anyone else, but she can’t always give me everything I crave in bed.
When I come home we always make love and it’s lovely, but I do often feel guilty and conflicted when she snuggles up to me and talks about getting married and having babies when I know what I’ve been up to behind her back.
And I sometimes think of other people while I’m with her.
She’s an open-minded and modern person, so perhaps I should tell her everything and get it all out in the open?
JANE SAYS: You put yourself in a vulnerable situation every time you go behind your girlfriend’s back.
What if a guy doesn’t take kindly to being told “No thank you” and turns nasty?
What if you were to return home with a black eye? How would you explain that? The fact is you are cheating on your girlfriend because you’re indulging in certain acts with certain individuals – and deliberately keeping your behaviour a secret from her. You’re not being fair.
She thinks you’re one thing, but you’re quite another. Start being honest about who you really are and what you like.
It could be that she turns around and says: “Wow, tell me more.” In which case you’ll be free to proceed with your relationship on a whole new footing. But if she doesn’t approve of you enjoying intimate encounters with anyone but her, then you’ll have to speak some more.
This is playing on your mind, so continuing to hide the truth is not an option.
Not only do you need to start being honest with her, but with yourself too.
Would you like to have sex with other men or women?
Please, always ensure you use a condom when having any kind of sex. Sexually transmitted infections are rife and you have to be responsible and careful.
MY girlfriend has been “pregnant” for over two years.
Every time I ask her when a baby is due, she tells me she’s had another miscarriage or gives me a due date way in the future.
I’ve never attended a hospital appointment or seen a scan picture, but she insists she’s telling the truth.
Any time we have sex it’s in the dark. I’m not allowed to touch or caress her “bump”.
My sister claims she’s been pretending all along – that she’s never been expecting and has been faking pregnancies to trick and keep me.
JANE SAYS: Some desperate people will go to any lengths to keep the person they love.
If your girlfriend is paranoid about losing you, then she may think dangling the prospect of fatherhood before your eyes will be enough to trap you.
But we both know – and your sister obviously sees it too – that this unhealthy situation cannot be allowed to continue.
You have to tell her you’re not stupid and that she needs professional help.
Promise to support her, but do not allow yourself to be compromised if you want out of this toxic situation.