Suicide’s no subject for the blame game
THERE is only one reason tragic Caroline Flack decided to take her own life. It’s not the Criminal Prosecution Service, social media trolls or printed magazines and newspapers.
It’s the hideous, terrifying black hole of depression that swallows up your soul and snuffs out any light of hope.
Suicide is not simplistic and playing the dangerous blame game, which we all now seem obsessed with, is risky beyond belief. The Love
Island host chose to end what must have been horrific mental despair on Saturday. She had been left alone for a short time by her best friend, who had been by her side for Valentine’s Day.
Caroline was just 40 years old and had bravely written and spoken about her mental health issues for years.
Even after her 2014 victory on Strictly Come Dancing, she was plagued by anxiety. She admitted she drank too much so she could cope, because
she was a woman who wore her heart on her sleeve. Her inquest is due to be opened today, which will mean more newspaper coverage and social media comments.
Because, whether those criticising the press like it or not, her story was front page because it IS news.
Anyone in the public eye arrested for assaulting their partner – as Caroline was during a drunken row with her lover Lewis Burton, 27, last December – and the resulting consequences have to be covered. This isn’t hounding or bullying – it’s reporting facts. Social media has been utterly depressing, running the same story. Newspapers and magazines are regulated; Twitter isn’t.
Until everyone on all social media platforms are forced to use a true picture of themselves and their real name, it will continue to be an open sewer.
But it’s a necessary evil for celebrity. Caroline was a master at using Instagram to promote herself and her career. She was also genuinely very good friends with many journalists.
And she would be hating the fact that some of those mates are now being subjected to death threats because they work for a newspaper – ironically, by the very same trolls who are also tweeting Caroline’s personal motto, #BeKind.
Interestingly, Caroline’s management hasn’t laid any blame on newspapers. Instead, they have very publicly damned the CPS for pressing ahead with a criminal trial when her boyfriend didn’t want the case to go ahead. But they were damned if they did, damned if they didn’t.
Domestic violence against both sexes is on the increase and even if the victim refuses to press charges, cases can go ahead.
This is simply because so many victims withdraw complaints under duress from aggressors.
And what about her employers at ITV and reality TV in general? Should
Love Island be pulled off the air?
It’s been linked to two other suicides, too. No, of course not. That would be the ultimate insult to its bright and beautiful presenter, who adored the show from the word go.
If we’re not careful though, the suicide blame game might be responsible for more depression and despair. Caroline’s close friends and family will probably torture themselves for the rest of their lives about whether they could have done more. They couldn’t. No-one could.
I had a friend whose husband took his life many years ago now. She’d taken their two small children to the supermarket one Saturday morning, came back, and opened the front door to a scene that ended all of their worlds.
Her husband had hanged himself in their hallway. To this day, she feels guilty and your heart breaks for her – as it now does for Caroline’s family.
So suicide is never a blame game. It’s an awful, tragic, hideous and, sadly, increasingly common occurrence.
I know it’s a cliché, but there is always someone who can help. Please, if you or someone you love is suffering, reach out.