Driven mad by Donald...
CARY De Van speaks for a lot of Americans, although sadly for him he wound up getting nicked.
Cops busted the 82-year-old Florida resident for drunkdriving after he wrecked a golf cart and told police Donald Trump drove him to booze. No-one else was involved in the accident, but Cary now faces charges of driving while under the influence.
When questioned as to why he was drunk, he replied he “was watching President Trump on TV then got really mad at what he said.”
★★★★★
YOUTUBER twins Alan and Alex Stokes could face up to four years in prison after they were charged over one of their infamous pranks.
The brothers thought it would be hilarious to pose as bank robbers, which ended with an Uber driver being held at gunpoint by police.
The 23-year-olds, who boast more than four million subscribers to their Youtube channel, have been charged with false imprisonment effected by violence, menace, fraud or deceit.
★★★★★
MASSACHUSETTS couple Mariel Kinney, 32, and Kevin Pinto, 30, tangled with police after taking their dog for a walk.
The problem? They were both completely naked.
The pair have now been charged with indecent exposure, assault and battery on a police officer, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace.
★★★★★
DOUBLE amputee Chris Marckres went for a jump at Vermont Skydiving Adventures – but one of his prosthetic legs fell off as he leapt from the plane.
“I think my adrenaline was so high and I was just so excited, I didn’t realise I had lost it,” he said. Thankfully, a local farmer spotted the leg in his soybean field and gave it back.
★★★★★
KNOWN for living in “the Happiest Place On Earth”, Mickey Mouse spread joy this week miles away from his Disneyland home.
Bungling Rhode Island officials sent out more than 170 tax refund cheques signed by Walt Disney and Mickey, rather than the state treasurer.
All have now been voided and new ones are being posted. It makes you wonder if Goofy is in charge.
★★★★★ AND FINALLY...
WHILE my Barman was working through a long lockdown list of DIY jobs, he moaned to his wife that she had done very little. “Of course women don’t work as hard as men,” she said. “We get it right the first time.”