Escort girlfriend won’t switch job LYING TO FAMILY’S SO HARD
MY girlfriend is an escort. Can this relationship work?
I love her so much and respect her ability to earn a good wage, but I struggle to come to terms with what she does for a living.
Her speciality is teaming up with another girl and performing sex shows for paying punters at private parties.
She says that doesn’t count as cheating as being with a woman isn’t the same as having sex with a man. But she does that too!
Dirty
Recently she admitted that, if the money is right, she will sleep with a client, but always uses a condom and fakes her orgasm – so I’ve nothing to worry about.
She has an interesting way of splitting her mind in two. On the one hand there’s me – the supposed love of her life and the only guy she will ever care about.
But then there are the various clients who are beginning to drift back into her life again after the lockdown. During the past week she’s been talking dirty with several of her old regulars who are keen to meet up again just as soon as it is safe to do so.
The other night I had a drink and asked her if she’d consider a more normal job in future – if only for my sake. I pointed out that this might be a good time to
change direction. But all she did was say: “I’ll think about it.”
I suspect this is her way of saying: “No.” I’m increasingly struggling with the lying. The problem is that my parents and mates have no idea that she sleeps with other people for a living.
My mum’s got it into her head that she’s a dancer while my best mates believe she’s a model.
I don’t say they’re mistaken, but I don’t correct them either and that’s leading to me feeling dishonest and stressed.
JANE SAYS: I don’t think this relationship will survive.
As you’ve worked out, this
is a crucial time in your relationship. She could easily strike out in a new direction and start again with a job in a conventional sector.
You’ve openly suggested it, but she’s not interested.
Instead she’s begun courting her old customers with a view to getting back into the escorting business again just as soon as she can.
She knows how much her occupation hurts and confuses you.
You’ve spelt out how awkward you often feel, but I’m afraid that your pleas are falling on deaf ears. It sounds as
if she’s got an answer for everything. I beg you to consider your sexual and mental health and to protect your relations with family members and friends.
If lying about your girlfriend’s job is leading to stress and self- loathing, then you can’t go on like this.
I suspect the thought of her seeing her old clients again is hitting you hard.
Step back and really think this through because she’s not the only woman around and you don’t have to put up with anything you’re not completely comfortable with.