Mate’s blunt truth a total nightmare SECRET AFFAIR’S IN OPEN
MY mate exposed my partner as a long- term cheat.
A week ago she came to me in a state of high excitement. She explained that she’s been consulting a self- help guru about her stress levels.
Apparently this expert is all about absolute honesty. To this end, he has encouraged my friend to “free her soul” by coming clean about the secret affair she’s been having with my partner since 2010.
Sham
Now my friend feels liberated and alive but I feel terrible. I wish she’d never told me.
My partner confirmed that everything is true – and he feels relieved too! Yes, he has had a lot of sex with her, but it didn’t mean anything…
Yes, he did move her in here when I was working in New York, but it was only because she was between flats.
But he’s very glad that everything is finally out in the open because the guilt was beginning to get him down. My heart bleeds…
It’s suddenly dawning on me that our whole relationship has been built on sand. It’s a sham.
All the times he told me that he was “working late” or “seeing an old mate” he was obviously with
her. Even the expensive jewellery he gave me now seems cheap and meaningless.
I can’t stop torturing myself. I keep asking him if she is better at sex than me, to which he replies: “You’re both about the same.”
But he does suggest she’s more adventurous and dirty which cuts through me like a knife.
For her part, my friend is skipping around like a bird released. She doesn’t understand why I can’t simply park the past and carry on being her mate.
She doesn’t understand that I’m on my knees and that it’s all her fault.
How am I supposed to react?
JANE SAYS: Not everything is your friend’s fault because it takes two to tango.
Admittedly she’s the one who has spoken up and exposed 10 years of lies, but your partner is equally culpable. He is the one you are in a committed relationship with.
Was he ever going to tell you the truth himself?
No- one could blame you for feeling devastated right now. A couple of weeks ago your life was bobbing along as normal. You assumed your mate and your man were decent and onside.
Suddenly, however, everything
was blown sky- high with your mate’s shock revelation. I’m sure she is feeling chilled but that doesn’t excuse anything that’s gone on.
As for him, did he honestly think he’d get away with this terrible deceit forever?
Take yourself to a place of peace and give yourself some space. Remember that you don’t have to have either of them in your life any more.
You are now free to do whatever you want. My personal feeling is that neither of them is deserving of your love, friendship or loyalty.
Give them both the boot.