My man says I owe £ 3k for lockdown SHOCK MONEY DEMAND
MY boyfriend has presented me with a bill for £ 3,000.
He says he’d like it by the end of the month but I don’t have it.
Wires have been crossed and now I find myself feeling terrified. He’s definitely gone cold on me and I don’t know where I stand or what the rules are.
Back in March I was living in my best mate’s box room.
Admittedly the place was basic but it was cheap. My boyfriend hated staying over, moaning that my room was freezing and my single bed was a passion killer.
He said that he wanted sex in a nice warm bed with all mod cons around him.
When lockdown was announced he insisted I move straight in with him.
Wrong
I explained from the start that I didn’t have much money and I remember him saying: “Don’t worry, we’ll sort something out.”
So during the past eight months I’ve cooked, cleaned and kept house thinking that was my contribution. How wrong was I?
It now turns out he’s been keeping a running tally of all the food, heat and water I’ve used. On top of that he’d added a costing for rent and council tax.
I’m stunned. This was never agreed and I don’t know what to
say. More than once he’s muttered: “Surely you didn’t think you were in for a free ride? Surely you were saving?”
I wasn’t. I assumed the board and lodgings were a gift. Don’t forget that I’ve also kept him warm every night in bed and never once turned him down for any kind of sex.
If anything I feel used. I now think he took me in for domestic and sexual duties when it suited him. Do you think I have a point?
JANE SAYS: There’s no way of knowing what was going through his head when he invited you to move in. Maybe
he genuinely did feel sorry for you and felt he needed to “rescue” you from your freezing box room.
Alternatively he could have had a secret agenda but, to his credit, none of us knew in March how long this would all last and what the consequences ( both emotional and financial) would be.
Today, eight months later, he could find himself in debt and worried. He might be looking at all sorts of options to claw back lost revenue.
Insist on an honest adult conversation to put your side of the case across and see
where you both go from here. Make it clear that you never expected a free ride but rent was never mentioned.
What about all the chores you’ve carried out for him? Obviously you don’t want this relationship to sink without a trace but neither of you want to feel you’ve been taken advantage of either.
Sadly, if he’s fallen out of love with you and feels he wants to go it alone, do you need to find some middle ground and work out a longterm repayment plan because no- one can conjure up cash out of thin air?