Feeble fella’s lost in a phone frenzy
HE’S GOT NO TIME FOR ME
MY boyfriend’s addiction to his phone has gone way beyond a joke.
Not only does he take it into the loo with him, but he now sleeps with it under his pillow.
I’m not allowed to touch or look at it in case I accidentally see a message not meant for me.
What frustrates me is that he didn’t even have a phone until a few years ago – and I was the one who surprised him with his first one. It drove me crazy that I could never get hold of him.
Rogue
He joked that he enjoyed being a free spirit and “going rogue”.
He relied on calling me from phone boxes when they were still around. One weekend he returned home from a golfing trip and I threw his first handset at him with the words: “Happy Christmas”.
He said he didn’t want it, but I insisted he give it a try. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Now I couldn’t prise it out of his fingers no matter how hard I tried.
He’s taken to texting, browsing and scrolling like a duck to water and I feel as though I’ve lost him.
He doesn’t really watch TV or talk to me any more because he’s more interested in conspiracy sites and online gossip.
My sister is convinced that he’s
having cybersex with a stranger, but I don’t even think that’s true. He’s simply found something that has rewired his brain.
He’s not the happy-go-lucky guy I first fell in love with and that saddens me because I no longer know what I mean to him.
JANE SAYS: You seem pretty convinced that your guy isn’t flirting or having online sex with another person, but why is he so determined that you don’t even look at his phone when it pings?
I’m not interested in stirring up trouble between you, but surely you have to ask
yourself why he’s so protective and so defensive?
I think it’s true to say that most of us don’t like others fiddling with our stuff, but his obsession with his phone is off the scale. He’s acting like a petulant 13 year old.
You need to sit him down and have “The Chat”.
Tell him you refuse to go on like this because it feels as though there’s a third element in this relationship.
Is he corresponding with someone else? Is that why he’s so anxious for you not to even look at the screen? Is he in trouble? And doesn’t he
realise that sleeping with his phone under his pillow is dangerous.
What if it causes a fire? Also, his brain needs a break.
Ask him to start seeing things from your point of view. Can he imagine how rejected and neglected you are feeling right now?
Sadly, if he really can’t wean himself off his handset, then he must be encouraged to seek professional help via his GP.
I’d say the viability of your relationship depends upon him taking responsibility and acting to solve this problem.