Gay son’s wedding just a big charade
BRIDE’S IN FOR SHOCK
I KNEW my son was gay from the age of five.
Now he’s staggered me announcing he’s marrying woman. Must I warn her?
As a boy, I could never get him interested in football or fishing. His two brothers loved physical sports, but he preferred to hang around his mum and sister, cooking and making things.
For a while, my wife ran an interior design business and he was good with a sewing machine and often helped produce curtains and cushion covers.
My wife has always said he has a good “eye”. At 16, he came home with his first girlfriend, but I knew it wouldn’t last.
Hurt
by a
For many years, he travelled abroad with various jobs, but he’s back with a fiancée in tow.
You could have knocked me down with a feather when he organised a family Zoom call and introduced us to a woman he met in Spain.
Now they’re living together and we’re planning to meet up for a family meal. Further Zoom calls have confirmed to me that she seems a pleasant person.
But he’s exactly the same as he’s ever been. I fear he’s deluding himself and that she’s going to end up very hurt. They’re talk
ing about a big wedding in 2023, with children down the line. But that poor woman is in for a very disappointing wedding night.
I’d love to have the kind of father/son relationship in which I could tell him he doesn’t have to pretend to be something he’s not. I’d be quite happy for him to come out and tell me he prefers men, only it’s not happening.
I never had a good rapport with my own father and only discovered my uncle (his brother) was gay after he died.
JANE SAYS: You must stop making assumptions.
You have no way of knowing
who your son is attracted to. If he and his bride-to-be are living together, then the chances are they’re already having sex.
Do you really imagine they’ll make love for the first time on their wedding night?
Your son is unique. Just because he was more creative and less sporty as a child means nothing. If he’s blessed with a gentle, thoughtful personality, then accept him for who he is.
It could be that he’s bisexual or has simply fallen in love with this individual.
You seem to think there’s
a problem when he’s never hinted to you that he’s confused. Just because your uncle was gay means nothing.
Celebrate the fact that he’s found someone to love and look forward to their new life together with optimism.
We’re all different and he’s clearly a successful and very together man. You have no way of knowing how they conduct their relationship and, unless he asks for your help or your opinion, it’s none of your business.
Don’t cause irreparable harm by presuming to “out” anyone.