Is my jealous pal really secret foe?
FRIEND’S QUIPS SO CUTTING
I SUSPECT my dearest friend hates my guts.
I thought we were close, but she never misses an opportunity to contradict me and hurt my feelings. We recently met for a dog walk and her first words were: “Blimey, you’ve got fat.” Then she laughed at my hair, saying I looked like a witch.
I casually mentioned that my teenage son is driving me crazy, and she muttered: “Yes, well, he’s always been a brat.” I asked her what she meant, and she replied: “He’s just like his father, isn’t he? He’s ugly and selfish.”
I was stunned. She and my husband dated in college. They were something of a golden couple until he cheated on her.
Divorce
He and I got together years later and she swore that she was cool with it. But now I’ve got a horrible feeling she’s been resenting me for years.
Her marriage broke up in 2018 and she ended up losing everything in the divorce. She moved in with her ex in 2013 after a whirlwind romance.
I always found him flash and insincere, and told her not to marry him, but she didn’t listen.
Now she’s single and resentful and I feel she gets a kick out of aiming her resentment at me.
She’s made a lot of comments about me being lucky, entitled and spoilt. She’s “jokingly” insulted my parents, my house and even my dog.
I once confided in her when I thought my husband was cheating on me (he wasn’t) and she laughed out loud. Have I wasted my whole adult life indulging a woman who would happily see me crash and fail?
JANE SAYS: Recent events have opened your eyes to the possibility that your friend is not what she seems.
For years, you’ve confided in her in the belief that she’s
on your side, but now you wonder if it’s all been an act.
Rather than like you, she actually resents everything you’ve got and everything you’ve achieved. Far from supporting you, she’s been revelling in anything that’s gone wrong. Is it worth having this out with her?
There’s no denying that the past year has been tough and friendships have been sorely tested.
If she’s single and lonely then looking at you – with your partner and family – might be very tough for her.
Give yourself a break, while
you resurface and regroup. Concentrate on helping your son and don’t allow her to get under your skin.
Remember that your family has to be your number one priority and if your son is suffering then he needs you more than ever. Check out familylives.org.uk for support and advice.
If it turns out that you and she have gone as far as you can go, then accept that not all friendships last forever.
None of us needs anyone who is intent on cutting the ground from under us and spreading poison.